Carrie Bradstein?

That is what my accomplice called me last night after I shared some news with her.

I have another date! And it isn't with M! I had talked to J from Jdate a couple of weeks ago and I didn't think he was that interested. We had a nice conversation and I thought he may ask me out, but nothing really happened. He ended the phone call with a generic "well, maybe we'll get together sometime" so I didn't think anything of it. So imagine my surprise when my phone rang last night and it was J! We are going out this coming Tuesday night and he is going to pick a place and let me know over the weekend. Two dates in two weeks with two different men?! Whose life is this? Carrie Bradstein indeed!

As for an update about M. I did text him on Wednesday (sorry MCW I didn't see your comment until later) saying thanks and I had a good time. His response was "ditto. I had a really nice time. looking forward to doing it again soon :-)" But I haven't heard anything since. But like I said before, I am okay with it because at the end of the day it was one date, and I had fun!

That Was Unexpected

Last night I had a date with M, who I had spoken to on the phone a little over a week ago. We had tried to schedule something sooner but this was the night that worked. M was nice enough to let me pick a place in my neighborhood so I wouldn't have to schlep too far. So I picked a nice wine bar a few blocks from my place and was ready to go!
All day I was not feeling too excited about this date. Just to recap a bit, most of the dates I go on aren't what we would call successful. Not to mention the fact that it had been about a million degrees this summer and I don't like to be hot, it just puts me in a funk. Beyond that I spent the whole day at work wondering what I am doing there (for those who don't know I really hate my job). So needless to say I was kind of feeling a little wenchy about the whole date thing.
M got there before I did and was waiting outside and I have to admit he is much cuter in person than his Jdate photos. We walked in, took a seat at a corner table and after that it was just so easy! He made me laugh, I made him laugh, the conversation just flowed simply. We ordered a bunch of tapas and an delicious bottle of wine. Everything was just so lovely that three and a half hours later we were still sitting there being given complimentary glasses of champagne from the manager. We talked about everything from sports to our families to college days. I really had such a great time which was totally unexpected given my mood earlier in the day. By the end of the night he was holding my hand across the table and we both were a little sad it was so late and we had to go. We walked out of the place and after a little awkwardness there was a small (small) smooch. We both said we had fun and he asked if I would like to get together again. Obviously I said yes, but there was no set date or confirmed plans.
So, what do you think? I mean I know the date went well, and I am going to send him a little message today saying thanks again and that I had fun. Was not setting something up then and there a bad sign? Either way, as I was telling my accomplice earlier, if nothing happens, I still had fun. And she pointed out that even if nothing happens it has reinstilled my faith that there a few good guys out there.

Tu B'Av

Today is Tu B'Av, a minor holiday on the Jewish calender that is considered to be a Valentine's Day of sorts. It is a lucky day to get married, engaged, go on a date, or possibly meet your besheret (your soul mate). Last night I went to a white party for Tu B'Av. I dressed in a cute skirt and of course white top and headed down to Riverside Park with my friend E ready to meet someone, and of course get my free cocktail! The line to get in was long (as was the line at the bar), but it looked promising that there were so many people in attendance. I was excited! So with my Irish poured vodka tonic I was ready to work the room, well the park.
E and I ran into a few people we knew and chatted around. I was being very outgoing and even walked up to total strangers (men of course) to start a conversation. For the most part everyone was really nice, but I don't think I met my besheret. However, there was one stand out that I have to mention. While E and I were talking to a group of people I noticed a guy standing alone right next to me. I thought I would be polite and ask how his evening was going and start to chat a bit. I won't lie, I had noticed him earlier in the night and was hoping to talk to him, so here was my big chance! Here was our conversation in a shortened version:
LMG: How is your night going?
GSG (Green Shirt Guy): Okay, not seeing anything I like.
LMG: (trying hard to be nice) What do you mean?
GSG: Well, I come to alot of these things and its always the same girls.
LMG: (trying harder to be nice) Well, I have never been to one of these things before. So I am just hoping to have a fun night
GSG: Yeah, well, I think I am just going to have to find a matchmaker, because I know what I want. 5ft7in, slender, smart, sexy....
LMG: (trying soooo soooo hard to remain calm) Yeah, well, maybe you should find one. Good luck and enjoy the rest of your night. (Douchebag!....said only to myself of course)
So, that just goes to show that someone who may look good on the outside can be a total jerk! I understand that you may not think I am a match for you, but to be so insulting about all the women there in front of me was just beyond! Needless to say I moved on and left shortly after that. But the night wasn't a total loss, I did get cat calls from every garbage truck diver on my way home! Thanks Tu B'Av!

Are You Marketable?

I finally got matched via the matchmaking site with someone I thought might be interesting. He was a little older than me and seemed like we had alot in common. I agreed to the match and waited for him to call. So, "D" called over the weekend and we started the usual getting to know you conversation. We talked about what we are doing (he is going back to med school after working on Wall Street for the past few years), I told him about my work for a non-profit and my longing to move on to something new. Now for those who know me, you know that I love my field and I love the work I do, but the place I am in is not a good fit and it is time to move on. I didn't get into the negative stuff with D, just explained that I was ready for a change, but loved my work. He mentioned moving into private sector work and I wondered if that was something I would be welcome in considering my specialized degree. His next words to me?
"Yeah, you're not very marketable."
What?! Woah, how do you know what my work skills are? I was totally offended, but decided to make light of it and chalk it up to just awkward phone talk. The conversation continued with D making more suggestions for my employable future and when I referenced his "marketable" comment in a joke, he didn't laugh. This was not going well. I ended the conversation when he condescendingly told me he was glad I had SOMETHING to do that night and wasn't sitting home alone (I promise, his tone was not friendly). Well, that's conversation was over and that match is now closed! Time to move on. But it did get me thinking....
Am I marketable? And I don't mean for jobs because regardless of anything else, I know I am good at what I do. I mean in this whole dating thing. Am I really letting myself be open enough to meet someone? What makes you marketable in this thing we call dating?
And I only have a few hours to find out, because tonight is Tubav (Jewish Valentine's Day) and I am heading out to a singles event with my friend E so who knows what could happen!

Deal Breakers

I recently went out with some girlfriends to celebrate a be-lated birthday as well as see the new engagement ring my old roomie was sporting (sidebar: K, that ring is fabulous as are you and L, Mazel Tov!!!).

Anyway, thanks a few lychee martinis at $5 a pop (cheapest drink I have had in NYC for a while) and a yummy happy hour the topic turned to dating in this big bad city. Now, I have shared with all of you the top things I am looking for in a partner. But what are some of the things I am not looking for? That became the topic of conversation on this evening, deal breakers, things that just would rub you so the wrong way you can't be with that person.

One of the girls there that night shared the following dating story about her deal breaker and she was kind enough to allow me to share it with you. SG (single gal) had been dating DB (deal breaker) for a little while. They liked each other and were just having a good time when DB shared a little tidbit of information that started to run SG the wrong way. He explained his penchant for returning things to the store. Not just things that had never been used, but everything! Now, I will admit that I have done this to a degree. Sometimes I will read a book so fast I wind up returning it to the store and just getting a new one. But this? This was a whole new level. SG and DB had had a few sleepovers in which it finally came out that DB didn't own a bed, but rather an air mattress. SG really didn't have a huge problem with that other than wondering why a grown man didn't just buy a bed. A few days later while talking on the phone DB was a little upset, turned out he got a hole in his air mattress and nowhere to sleep. He then explained that instead of going out to buy a bed, he would return said air mattress and just get a new one! that was SG's deal breaker. It's one things to return a book or even clothes (unworn), but its another to return a mattress that has been used (for more than sleeping) to a store and expect a new one.

Now, not everyone has to agree with this. Everyone has their own deal breakers. And to be honest, I am not even sure what mine are! I know some of things that would annoy me, are they deal breakers? So I have to ask, what are some of your deal breakers?

Matchmaker, Matchmaker

...make me a match...
I don't think I need to keep "singing" the song, you get the idea. Anyway, why am I singing this song you ask? Well, because I have my very own matchmaker! Yes, that is right, Matchmaker!!

While at dinner with my friend recently, she told me about a new online dating site that allows you to connect with a matchmaker who will then work on finding matches who meet your criteria. You fill out your profile, add a few pictures, and answer a few questions. Then you get assigned a matchmaker. I spoke to my matchmaker over the weekend and am looking forward to seeing what she brings my way. You can't search through the profiles, your matchmaker does it for you! And the best part is, it is cheaper than Jdate!! So I don't really have to do anything, just sit back and wait for the matches to roll in; which I won't lie, has not really happened.

I have been sent a few matches from my matchmaker and even some from other matchmakers as well. However, most of them are not really matches for me. Some of them were fifteen years older than me, and while I like older, that may be a little too much. Some of them were about double (or triple) my size and while I don't want a skinny minny, I don't want that either. Once again I feel the need to defend myself and say I want to have some level of attraction to my match. I have accepted a few of the matches, but then they decline me. But, it only takes one! So come on Yenta (that's what I will be calling my matchmaker from now on) make me a match!

Too Many Words

Recently I was having dinner with a friend of mine who is also doing the whole online dating thing. We shared some stories and had a good laugh over some yummy sangria and asparagus that was soooo delish!! A couple of days later she sent me an e-mail forwarding a message she got from a potential match. I seriously cannot even begin to explain this email. I was laughing so hard when I was reading it, I thought it must have been a joke, but it wasn't. It was over one thousand words long and read like a resume for a job or a bio for a book. This is the very first paragraph.

"I posses nine of what I consider the most important qualities of a good leader and counselor: initiative, high motivation, outstanding organizational skills, self-starter, integrity and good communication skills, team work, caring, and ability to conduct a program to its fullest. My easy going nature and ability to get along with people, would certainly contribute to my ability as a counselor to function both as a friend and a mentor."

It then went into detailing his date of birth and went into everything from where his mother was from to the shul he went to as a child. It chronicled his rise in the ranks of the boy scouts and his desire to become a pilot (which he did do in case you're curious).

"From first grade through fifth grade I was in Cub Scouts, and then proceeded onto Boy Scouts, where I earned the rank of an Eagle Scout the highest rank a scout can earn. During my time in Cub Scouts I earned the religious Jewish Aleph Medal, and later in Boy Scouts achieved the Ner-Tamid Award. From age 14 to 21 I was a member of the Explorer Scouts. Now at 28, I am an adult leader, and continuing to donate my time in the interest of our youth. In my sophomore and junior year in college I took two classes concerning the history of the Jewish people, from ancient times to the present. (sample available upon reqest)"

Yes, you read correctly, he offered up a writing sample! What? This 1,180 word essay isn't enough?!

What was interesting about this e-mail is that not once did he ever ask my friend anything about her and even though the whole e-mail was about him it was so impersonal. So, needless to say this wasn't a match and we all agreed (jokingly) that she should respond with an e-mail that goes something like:

Thank you for your interest, but we have decided to go in another direction. We will keep your bio on file.

Chit Chatting

So I called back "M" (yeah, I am forgoing the alphabet and am just going to use initials) last night and the conversation was very easy. In fact, it felt just like chit chatting with a friend. We did not make firm plans to meet since he wasn't exactly sure of his schedule since he travels alot for work. We decided to talk more later in the week to figure something out. Now, as you all know, I am the worst at remembering the details of these conversations. But I do remember that we talked about our jobs, my dog (the cutest thing ever!), his having been married and now living at home, and food (perhaps my favorite topic). Well, like I said, it was just easy to talk to him, so we shall see what happens.

In other Jdating news...I was online with a friend of mine and we decided to IM a bunch of people on Jdate. And one of them actually IMed back! So we chatted a bit and he asked for my number. We have been playing telephone tag the last couple of days, he calls, I call, he calls. So now it is my turn and I am going to call him tonight. If I talk to him of course I will let you know how it goes!!

!

So I was away for the past two weeks with my family in Saratoga Springs, NY. If you have not been there, you should! I love getting out of the city for a while and just getting the chance to relax. However, when I have my Jewish mother and littlest sister there to Jdate with me, relaxing wasn't really on the agenda. They decided to become my new accomplices for one night and took it upon themselves to Jdate for me.

So one night we sat on the computer while they looked up possible future son-in laws (right mom?). My sister picked someone she though would be good and sent him an e-mail as myself. It took her the better part of an hour to come up with a one line gem about food that was actually very cute and did get a response! Although once she was done she decided to look for people for herself as she deemed the whole online thing too difficult (thanks, that's what I have been trying to say). Okay, so back to the e-mail...as I said it was cute and I am sure got this guy's attention, so he responded. I showed my mom and sister and they told me I had to respond right away with my phone number. So I did, and here is what I wrote:

Sounds good. Give me a call sometime xxx-xxx-xxxx
LMG

Well, that caused all sorts of issues as my little sister went off on me about not using a smiley face or exclamation point! She told me I basically suck at this and no wonder he hadn't called a few days later. Well, guess who gets the last laugh here? ME! He called while I was out last night and I am going to call him back tonight. So no exclamation point needed.

In other bloggy news, Poppy turned one! How cute! (many exclamation points!!!)