Friday, April 30, 2010

19 Things

So, I found this article today on Yahoo! about the nineteen things to not say to your single yes I am cutting and pasting it in all of its glory!

Why do we have so many sayings and maxims for dating? A single gal is likely to get slammed with them ad nauseam as soon as she expresses any unhappiness at her situation.
Since we could all use a good laugh, I asked some friends and Twitter followers to send in their most hated adages. I know you've heard them all before, but I just couldn't believe how many there were! Here's a tiny compilation. Enjoy -- today, they're not directed at you!
It happens when you're not looking. "This is just bull. Some people find people when they're looking; some don't. You're not doing anything wrong by going out and meeting people." -Beth

There are plenty of fish in the sea. "I dated a guy whose last name was Fish. People just had a BLAST with that one." -Kelly

So, why are you single? "I generally dislike this question. I mean honestly, if I knew why, I don't think I would be single right now, now would I?!" -Erica

You're too picky. "This may be true, but it feels like I'm getting criticized for my taste, vision, and close-mindedness -- when I'm already down." -Sarah

You'll find the right person for you. -Kelly

He's out there. -Kelly

It was just bad timing. "Like it's so easy to dismiss a guy on such an emotionless and objective reason." -Taryn

Just have fun with it! "Um, don't tell me how to date in my thirties when you got married at 24." -Maya

Have you tried online dating? "Duh!" -Elisa

He just wasn't the right guy for you. "I know! That's what I'm complaining about!" - Elisa

Well, when Steve and I first got together... "Wait, I still want to talk about me." -Elisa

When the time is right, you will meet someone. -Betsy

Wow, I wish I were single and in your shoes! "Really?! I'm pretty sure you CAN be single if you actually want to be. That there is an attainable dream, so if you aren't messing with me right now out of pity (which I suspect you are), please go for it!" -Kim

Your turn next [at weddings]. -Natlondon, via Twitter

It will happen when you least expect it. -dlegas05, via Twitter

Some guy is going to come along and ruin your career/life plans. "I am 32 and no one has ruined the last 10 years of plans." -frolicblog, via Twitter

But you're so pretty! Why don't you have a boyfriend? "There's just no graceful way to answer that." -earnesteats, via Twitter

It just wasn't meant to be. "Any of these platitudes are exponentially more annoying when coming from the mouths of smug marrieds." -Reberoodle, via Twitter

Sure, Steve rescues kids from abusive homes, donated my sister a kidney, and picks up fresh flowers for me daily on his way home from work, but will he QUIT IT with the sports on TV already? "Single people just hate to be complained to about petty relationship stuff. If you do this, I'm not going to want to hang out with you. (In fact, maybe I'll call Steve and ask him if he wants to watch the Yankees game?)" -Kim

Bottom line, if you're in a relationship or married and you don't have any specific, original advice or wisdom for your single friend -- and you must use an established saying -- we would prefer to hear neutral ones like, "This too shall pass" or "Take it one day at a time." They are so much more helpful and comforting -- you have no idea!

Also of note: not one person I polled mentioned they were tired of hearing, "He's just not that into you." I think that's because it's not condescending. And apparently, it's not overused. So that one is still OK to say. Thanks for listening!

Now to all my friends and family that are married and/or in relationships, I do appreciate your love and advice. I can't thank you enough for your support and honesty, not just with this, but with everything in my life. So please, feel free to post your original spin on these classics!

Monday, April 26, 2010

No Way!

So I think one big fear people have when doing the whole online dating thing is that you are going to see someone you know show up on your screen. Normally I might just laugh this off, but what happened this week was so hilarious I had to share it.

As some of you may know I work for a non-profit and part of my job is working with our young volunteers (young being 20's and 30's). I don't mind it when they are helpful and realize that our job is not to cater to them but to create great events that raise money for a good cause. There are some of these people that are so great and then there are some who treat us staff like nothing better than gum on their shoes. I am not kidding, it is a sense of entitlement and elitism I have never known.

Well, I am sure you can guess the of these gems showed up in my matches on! Imagine my horror and surprise! I didn't know what to do. I quickly clicked "no" that I was not interested in this person. And all I can hope for is that I don't show up in their search. I did mention this little incident to some of my co-workers. I won't lie, we had a big laugh over it (so much so that I was crying from laughing so hard). Obviously, this is not someone I think could be a match (even if he has gotten better with us over the years) and running into him at events will prove to be fun. I mean, now I will have to look better than ever!

Friday, April 23, 2010

Spring Cleaning

Yes, it is that time of year, when people clean out their closets, get rid of old junk and make plans to start fresh. And I am no different, although I feel like I am taking it to the extreme. I feel like I have to (in a way) reinvent myself. Things have not been going all that well for me for a while now and I haven't really been doing much to change it. So all of that is starting to change!

Starting with my hair. Yes, as most women would attest to, I am very particular about my hair. I have rules about how it can look after a haircut and I get nervous every time the scissors head my way. However, I recently decided to let myself go and I got bangs! Or as my stylist called them "framing." And I have to say I LOVE them! I figured with my new hair, I have a bit of a new attitude, I definitely feel better about my overall look and am liking what I see in the mirror!

Next change....and its a big one! My apartment! Yes, in the last two days I have moved from my two bedroom that I used to share (with some nice and some not so nice roommates over the years) to a studio for just me and Poppy. After getting amazing movers who packed me up and moved me out I have pretty much gotten the place put together. I have a few more little things to put away, but I am starting to feel like it is home. I feel like it will give me a fresh start and I am already feeling lighter and happier (and it has only been two days!).

Okay, so maybe it is only two spring cleaning big ticket items for now. But I feel like it is a chance for me to start over, a chance to feel refreshed and begin again. So here is hoping to a new beginning and good things to come.

Thursday, April 15, 2010

One Day Left!!

For an amazing giveaway...head over to a great blog called Saving the Best for Last! I won't lie, I hope I win, but you should enter anyway.

Also, just to clear some stuff up about my lest entry. Someone mentioned that there may not need to be a spark, but attraction. There was neither, so maybe I shouldn't have used the word spark? Although it doesn't matter anyway, I haven't heard form him and thats okay.

Thursday, April 8, 2010

When Sparks Don't Fly

So I mentioned a few posts ago that one of my girlfriends wanted to set me up with a nice Jewish guy she knew. He and I e-mailed for a bit and finally set up a date for last night.

I have to say I had a great time, the conversation was easy, he was super nice, and the place was really fun. But there was just no spark on my end. I felt like I was hanging out with a friend. Now, I know I don't necessarily have to feel all crazy and lovey after meeting someone for the first time. I know that things can develop over time, I just don't see that happening.

Some people think that the spark, the butterflies, the whatever you want to call it can be fleeting and doesn't make a relationship last. But shouldn't you walk away from a date hoping he'll call, or wondering when you are going to see him again?