Wednesday, December 17, 2008

Problem solved!?

So, I was kind of bored today at work, which is something that happens every now and again. Anyway, I was looking at my yahoo homepage and there was an article that caught my eye. I am pasting it here...

According to relationship experts at Heriot Watt University in Edinburgh, romantic comedies give people unrealistic ideas about love and sex, and cause them to "fail to communicate with their partner." Here's more:
Psychologists at the family and personal relationships laboratory at the university studied 40 top box office hits between 1995 and 2005, and identified common themes which they believed were unrealistic.
The university's Dr Bjarne Holmes said: "Marriage counselors often see couples who believe that sex should always be perfect, and if someone is meant to be with you then they will know what you want without you needing to communicate it. We now have some emerging evidence that suggests popular media play a role in perpetuating these ideas in people's minds. The problem is that while most of us know that the idea of a perfect relationship is unrealistic, some of us are still more influenced by media portrayals than we realize."
Do you think this is true? Is real-life romance a big ol' letdown? Sure, lots of people like the idea of a perfect man or "happily ever after," but does that mean we're all unable to separate fantasy from reality?
Also, have you ever had an experience that could have been right out of a romantic movie (think John Cusack holding up a boom box)?

Well, there you have it! My love of movies and TV (and probably books too, but so many people forget about reading!) have ruined my chances for meeting anyone. I am so jaded by Tom Hanks standing at the Empire State Building and Richard Gere falling for a hooker and "nobody puts Baby in the corner" that I'll never meet anyone!

Come on! I mean I am a realist and I know that these are just movies, stories made to entertain us. Sure they make us a little more hopeful that we can meet someone who loves us and who we love in return. But do I really think that the next time I am on the train and someone steps on my toe we are going to fall madly in love? I don't think so.

Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Calling all accomplices!

So far "Operation 3.0" has been all right. I won't call it a success, but I won't call it a failure either. I have done things I didn't think I would ever do, speed dating anyone? And I have e-mailed more men on then I care to number (needless to say I meet my quota every month). However, things just do not seem to be rolling along. This has become more a lesson in not losing your self esteem completely than anything else. I do get a rare e-mail from someone on match now and again, either from "bigblackman" and others like him, or from much older Jewish guys who look sort of like my dad. I just don't feel like writing back even though I know I should. I know that some people (mom) will say I am just too picky. I'll admit that I just might be, but I also know that I don't want to lower my expectations. Oh my goodness, remember that skit on Mad TV "Lowered Expectations" that what I need to find? If you don't know what I am talking about, please go look it up on You Tube!
Anyway, I am asking all you readers and accomplices out there for help. Please share your ideas on what else I can or should do. I will of course read your thoughts and comments and maybe even act on them. If you know who I am and know a guy you think I would like, hook it up! Come on people, I don't think I can do this alone. Your support is so great and your help would be even greater! Think of it as a mitzvah or a good deed during the Holiday season.

Friday, December 12, 2008

I am a Virgo

Even though I know my sign, that doesn't mean I'm a big believer in all of that stuff. I don't know which signs I am compatible with and would go out on a date with a Pisces or a Taurus. It doesn't matter. I do however read my horoscope. I just think its a fun thing to do and sometimes it is so totally off base it gives me a good laugh during the day. Recently I got a good one though that actually spoke to this Little Match Girl. I just thought I should share it here since it seems to fit with the theme of this blog (and maybe my life in general).

You're creative, charming and good-looking. Your advances in just about any endeavor will be warmly encouraged. That ought to give you something to think about. Don't wait. This doesn't last forever.

Thursday, December 11, 2008

Up Up and...

Well, not away, but the date with "B" last night was definitely a step up from previous dates in my life! We met at a central location so it would be easy for both of us to catch trains home, since we live in totally different areas. I thought that was fair for both of us.
Anyway, I'll admit that after the stalking, e-mail games, and cancelled date, I was not too excited to meet his guy. It was like a whole series in mixed messages and I just don't like all this game playing as I have mentioned before. So needless to say I was in a bit of a funk most of the day and not really looking forward to going out.
I got there and put on my happy face and decided to just make the best of it. My mom gave me a stern talking to during the day about how you never know and all that. So, I was surprised that I was actually having a decent time. Now, let me just be clear, me having a good time does not mean that I am all about "B" now. Believe me, I already sent a few more e-mails on match!
I just didn't have a horrible time and I could totally see hanging out with "B" again.
We just sat and talked for about an hour a half. We had a little bite to eat and I kind of felt like I was hanging out with a friend. I will say that on my part there was no attraction at all. That's not to say that kind of thing can't change, I am just putting it out there. We talked about our families and growing up in totally different places. I'm from Miami, he is from upstate NY. We talked about the holiday season, since its here and so much fun! He actually grew up celebrating Christmas in his home and not Hanukkah, I grew up in a Jewish home, where Christmas was something we watched our neighbors do (seriously, they have been on the "Today" show with their insane decorations!!). I'm sorry, and I have said it before, but I just want to meet a nice Jewish boy who I can bring home to mom (don't lie mom, that's what you want too). I just don't think "B" fits that bill. And to people that celebrate both, this is not a comment about that, its more a comment about what I want in my life and what kind of home I want to create with whoever I wind up with. But before you get all upset with me, I am not writing him off, I am just saying that right now I don't think this could be a match, but I am willing to give it another try. Now for more date details...
So we sat down and he told me he was not drinking, I'm sorry, but I needed a drink so I ordered a beer. For dinner I just ordered a soup he ordered an appetizer and dinner. Let me explain about my soup, I am not one of those girls who doesn't eat, in fact, I love food! But I had a late lunch and I love french onion soup, so I couldn't resist and it was totally filling. The conversation flowed fairly well with very few periods of silence. While I made him laugh a few times, he didn't really do the same for me. But I do love to make people laugh, so that's good I guess. Although i would have liked to chuckle a few time, oh well.
So, onto the end of the date when the check comes. This is always a tense moment for me since I have been on quite a few dates where the guy expects me to pay. So when the bill came I made my usual reach for my wallet and asked if I should pay. His response was "only if you want to." Really? This was another red flag about "B" for me. Listen up should always pay for the first date. Its just the right thing to do! So I just kind of sat there dumbfounded at that response and he was like "never mind, I'll get it." Okay, so that was a bit weird and a strange way to end the date. He walked me to the train and I gave him a little hug. All in all, it was not horrible but there were just no sparks for me.
Okay, so now comment away people, I know you're dying to!

Tuesday, December 9, 2008


Um, so it is Tuesday before my date with "B" tomorrow and I have not heard from him. Granted we spoke on the phone last week to make these plans, but there should be some sort of confirmation this week right? I mean we never even finalized where to go. Is he expecting me to just wait around until tomorrow? He can call me at 7 and I can be somewhere by 8?
Now, please correct me if I am wrong, because this whole dating thing is not something I'm too familiar with (I admit it and perhaps another post will be about my non-existent dating history). I just feel like at least forty eight hours is not too much to ask. I know he said he was busy with work and stuff, but guess what "B"? So is everyone! You are not the only busy person in the world or in NYC for that matter! I just feel like it is a respect thing, and by not getting in touch its showing that he really doesn't care all that much about meeting me at all. At least that is the impression he is making on me. So, tell I right? Or totally off base?

Friday, December 5, 2008

Ring ring...

So, after one of my earlier posts I got into a fight with my youngest sister. We have since made up, I mean why fight about silly stuff like my non existing dating life? I then talked to my mom about said fight and sister. After these conversations which really made me feel great about myself, I decided to just stop being passive and do something. I gave "B" my number.
Now, once again this may seem like no big deal. But I think if you have been following, "B" was not exactly making me feel excited about the prospect of meeting. From the long wait between e-mails to the cancelled date, I was not really feeling like he was into it. That only made me feel less excited about the whole thing. But I figured, why not? If he doesn't call then at least I know I had the last word (something I love to get, I'll admit).
But surprise, "B" called! I could not believe it when I walked in the door and had a message from him. My cell phone had been on silent, so I did miss the call. I did call him back though (see, mom? aren't you proud?). We had a nice conversation and made a date for this week, so of course I will keep you posted on that.
After we got off the phone I called the sister of the mentioned fight, maybe I should call it an argument. I figured she would know how much it took for me to not only give out my number, but to call too. And I won't lie, I kind of was showing off that I did all that to the person who pushed me the most. She asked me all about the conversation and what "B" sounded like. I wish I could give details, but when I thought about it I realized that the conversation wasn't bad, it was nice, but not memorable. Here are some of the questions and answers from my sister:
Sister: Was he nice?
Me: Yeah, he seemed nice, nothing really stood out in the conversation. Oh! Except that his parents were hippies.
Sister: Did he have a deep voice? Did he sound like Dad?
Me: Not really deep, and I think it would have been weird if he did sound like Dad. But his voice wasn't girly or anything like that.
Sister: Did he make you laugh?
Me: Not really, but hopefully he will!
So that's it! Let's see if this Wed actually happens. As I pointed out to my sister last night, there is nowhere to go but up. I mean from the guy in magenta who lives with his parents to the swinging on a second date, I can't see how it could get much worse!

Thursday, December 4, 2008

Feeling old

I went to an event last night that was a fundraiser that a friend asked me to go to. So I paid my money and thought, you never know I just might meet someone. I met up with some of my girlfriends and in we went (okay, after doing a short lap around the shops at Bryant Park). I went up to the bar, I was not about to turn down my free cocktails, and walked around the place. Well, I would say that the majority of the people there were in their early 20's. Now, I am not saying that's a bad thing, but this is "Operation 3.0" for a reason, namely I am going to be 30. So hooking up with a 20 something isn't exactly what I am looking for. But, no matter, I was determined to have fun anyway. I didn't want to let my cute outfit go to waste after all. However, I think other than the free drinks the event was sort of a bust. I had fun with my friends, talked to a couple of people and went home. So maybe I felt a little bit like and old lady, but I did go, and that's half the battle right? Just to get myself out there.
It may not have been a success in the way some of you are thinking. But I think for me it was good to just go out and do something a little different. For those of you reading who know me, you know why. But for those that don't, here is some insight into this Little Match Girl, I'm not big on social event stuff. There are alot of reasons for this, but mainly, I just get nervous being with lots of people I don't know. So it has kept me from doing some things, but I have gotten so much better so yay for me! Wow, that kind of makes me sound like a hermit, but that's not it either. I just like to stay where I am comfortable with people that I know. So this whole getting out there, "Operation 3.0" thing is a big deal for me! Yay!! So no more pity parties, I am trying, and I know some people may not think its enough or the best way. But I am doing things my way, I am pretty proud of myself! :-)

Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Another one bites the dust?

So, "B" finally e-mailed me yesterday about our plans for Wed! Well, he e-mailed to say he can't make it. This whole back and forth is getting a bit ridiculous. And frankly I have plans already on Saturday, so I am not rearranging my schedule to suit him at this point. I told him what my schedule looks like and I guess we'll see. But I won't lie, "B" has gotten on my nerves so much I don't know if I even want to meet him. My accomplice said that I have already made up my mind and I should just forget it because chances are if I do meet him, I probably wouldn't even give him a fair chance. I know she is right, but I thought I would take to the blog and see what you guys think. So, should I give "B" a chance or just move on?
Then the issue becomes, move on to what? I sent out another barrage of e-mails this weekend with my accomplice. I have not gotten any responses. When do you get to the point that it doesn't bother you anymore? My mother says you have to treat this whole thing like a job and just keep going. But if you do that its really not fun anymore. Besides, how much rejection should one person have to take? I'll just have to save the e-mail from"bigblackman" to remind me that there are some people out there who think I am worth it.