Tuesday, July 28, 2009

What is going on?!

Things with "F" are totally weird! I have no idea what is going on with him. So there was the whole cancelling of our date last Tuesday. We rescheduled for Friday night. So, on Friday afternoon at 4:30 when my phone rang I was surprised that "F" was calling. He talked about how he was having a bad day and didn't know if we should go out. I could not believe it, was he really calling to cancel again?! I told him I understood that work had been stressful and he was feeling a bit low, but I also said that part of dating someone is seeing them when they are not at their best. I told him I don't expect him to always be in a great mood, and that is part of getting to know someone. I also explained that since he had cancelled before, I was really disappointed and would rather spend time with him even in a bad mood than not see him at all. There was no ultimatum, I just made my opinion known. He told me he would call me back after he got some more work done. And when he did call back he told me he was on his way over.
So, he came over, we went out to dinner and everything was fine. It is just a little off, I don't really know how to explain it. All I can say is, I miss the guy I started dating a few months ago. If "F" is going through something, that's fine, we all have moments where we are not at our best. But communication is so important, just tell me that you're in a funk, or whatever. If it is that you don't want to see me anymore, just say that! Whatever it is, just tell me. Talking to me and just giving me a little explanation is better than being silent and having me try to figure you out for myself.
Anyway, he left on Saturday morning and I asked him if he would be disappearing now. Since he mentioned that he does that when he feels low. He said he hoped not and I haven't talked to him since. He did send me a silly text last night about "The Bachelorette" (yes, I admit I watch it!). So, at least I know he was thinking about me, but there are no plans to see each other. I am not going to push him, I will let him figure it out. Its just a bit frustrating, since he was the one so open about how he was feeling and now that I shared and opened up (and let down quite a few walls) he is the one pulling away. I am giving him his space, but I am scared that in that time, my walls are slowly rebuilding, and having them come down again might not be so simple.

Wednesday, July 22, 2009

He called!

Thank goodness! He told me he would call me when he was home after work last night. And I won't lie, as the clock ticked past 9:30 I was having serious doubts about whether he would or not. So, I was so shocked when my phone rang at ten minutes to ten and it was "F!!" He explained that work has been totally hectic and that he didn't want to go out and be in a bad mood all night. I have to say that I really appreciated the explanation and I told him that I totally understood. We chatted for a bit and I think things are all right. We are going out this Friday night and I told him that I am staying in town this weekend so I could spend time with him and I am totally excited to see him. I am still trying to think of fun things to do, so any suggestions would be helpful! I just want to make sure he knows that I am totally into him and into taking this relationship further.

Tuesday, July 21, 2009


So, after a somewhat off date Thursday night, "F" has now cancelled our date for tonight. And I won't lie, I had some really cute stuff planned! I don't know what is going on! On Thursday we went to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame and then to dinner. While everything was fine, there was something missing. He just wasn't really there. Usually he is so affectionate, which is just one thing I like about him, but there was none of that. I tried to talk to him about it, but he just kind of ignored it.
Now I will admit, I have not been totally forthcoming with my feelings, but I have been more open with "F" than I can remember being in a very long time. However, I also realize that he may be feeling like I am not really making him a serious part of my life. I think the perfect example of this is that in the time we have been dating I have been gone every weekend except for one. I don't think that sends the best message, and I really didn't even realize it until this past weekend in Boston with my accomplice who had to knock some sense into me.
So, what do I do? I want him to know that I like him and want to see what happens (I was planning on saying all of that tonight!), but how do I do that when I can't see him? I did text him back asking him if he wanted to reschedule for this weekend, hopefully making it clear that I am here for him. What else can I do....any ideas?

Thursday, July 16, 2009

Ready to Rock!

Tonight "F" and I are heading out to the Rock and Roll Hall of Fame Annex where there is an exhibit about John Lennon. Whats funny about it is that "F" had mentioned he had some ideas for dates which we would do when I got back. One of his ideas was for me, and one for him; but he wouldn't tell me what his ideas were. I called him a few days later and told him I had a fun idea of something we should do that was so perfect for him. He asked if it was the Rock Annex and I was totally pissed that my surprise idea was blown! Turns out it was the exact thing he was thinking of doing too! Great minds I guess!
So these two great minds will be doing that tonight and I am super excited! I do have a question for all of you though..."F" and I have been dating for about two months now, so when do we do the whole meet the friends/family thing? He had mentioned it a while ago and I told him I wasn't ready for all of that and I wanted to take things slow. He has been so wonderful and respectful of that, but now I am ready to move forward. What do I do?

Tuesday, July 14, 2009

...And We're Back!

So I arrived back safe and sound from Israel. It was beautiful and I just loved my time there. I met wonderful people and learned so much. Plus, getting to spend time with my family was just a wonderful bonus! That said, I am so happy to be back. As I mentioned in my previous post "F" and I e-mailed a bit while I was gone, and I saw him last night for the first time since being back.

When I opened the door he had a beautiful bouquet of flowers welcoming me back. They are just gorgeous and I am really excited to go home later just to see them sitting on my table! So, while he didn't say he missed me, I think the flowers said enough. We didn't go anywhere, we just ordered food in and watched TV. It was a perfect night for me since I am still a little jet lagged. "F" slept over again and I have to say waking up with him in the morning just feels right. So I think we are basically picking up where we left off and I am excited to see where we go from here!

Sunday, July 5, 2009

Greetings from Israel!

So I have been in Israel for a bit over a week and already the time has flown by! While the main purpose of this trip has been for work, I was really so happy to get to spend a couple of days with my family and I will be seeing them again in a few days before I have to head back to the States. If you have not been to Israel before you should! As I am typing this, my window is looking out over the hills of Jerusalem and it is really a magical sight. I have been here many times before, but each trip is still exciting. Yesterday we (the group I am with) went to Ein Gedi which is a nature reserve. We hiked up a mountain (I was wearing flip flops...awesome!) and then went swimming in a natural spring water pool with a waterfall. It was so much fun! Then we headed to the Dead Sea where I floated and covered myself in mud. I felt so soft afterwards, I didn't want to shower but that would have been gross. I've eaten schwarma and falafel, gone out on Ben Yehuda Street, bought really pretty jewelry, and tonight will be heading to the Kotel for some quiet reflection. Like I said, I love Israel!
But I know what you really want to know is if I have heard from "F" (who I am still working on a nickname for). So, here goes, I sent him a long e-mail when I had been here for a few days and then heard back in a response that was a couple of lines. I couldn't really expect much more, he is a boy after all. Anyway, we e-mailed a bit all week, and I did call him once and we spoke for five minutes or so. I sent him another e-mail a couple of days ago, but haven't heard back, so who knows? Maybe he is hungover from July 4th festivities (speaking of which, Happy 4th of July a day late!). So I think that's it for my update from Israel. I'll be back stateside next Saturday and I guess we will just have to see what happens then!