Today's post has nothing to do with "M" and everything to do with my job. As some of you know, I have not loved where I am working for some time now. In the last year or so it has gotten so much worse and I find myself struggling to make it through a day without crying or getting very upset. This is not healthy and I know that, but in these uncertain times I also cannot justify just walking out (though I have thought about it on more than one occasion). It is not worth getting into all the details about why I am so unhappy here, it is enough to say that I am and that I know I deserve to be treated with respect (of which there is none here).
That said, I have applied to many jobs over the past year or so only be rejected over and over again. I have expanded my ideas of what kinds of jobs to apply for, even applying to go back into classroom teaching (which is where I was before I went to grad school). I have been rejected for being too young, too experienced, and sometimes not given a reason at all. I won't lie, it is a bit like the dating scene all over again! I have called many colleagues and friends to ask for help. Words really cannot express how unhappy I am here. I feel like I have failed in my chosen field and that makes it even worse.
(Speaking of which, if anyone has any leads for jobs...I'll consider anything!!!)