So, as I said, I signed back onto Jdate. It is a site I was on for about a minute when I first moved to NYC and quickly realized I wasn't meeting anyone. But with their deal of 50% off, I guess I was the sucker born that minute. I signed on today so that I could try to rewrite my profile and maybe upload a picture of my new hair. I decided I would do a quick search just to see who some of the people Jdate thought could be my matches are. I clicked the search button and started to fill out the things I was looking for....
I am a woman (check) looking for a man (check) between the ages of 30-infinity (check). Okay maybe not infinity, but someone actually told me I should look much older because at this point, beggars can't be choosers. Awesome. All right, back to the checks, within 10 miles of 100XX (check). Show members with pictures (check). Show only profiles of Jewish Members (check).
What?! Wait a minute, isn't this Jdate? A Jewish dating website? And you are asking me if I want to see profiles of non Jewish members? Color me confused. Of course I only want to look at Jewish members!!! That was the whole reason I signed back onto Jdate in the first place. When I was doing match.com all the e-mails I got were from non-Jews. So I thought that by going to a place that was supposed to be meet my needs that wouldn't be the case. Now, I have said it before, I will say it again; I know many people (dating and married) who are Jewish and non Jewish and very happy (and I won't lie, some not so happy, but that happens regardless sometimes). It is just not something for me. Being Jewish is a part of who I am and I want to share that with someone. So Jdate, if you're reading (and I might even send you a letter to this effect) please realize the reason that many of your members are there (looking for someone Jewish) and don't become match.com, but be the place where a Jewish girl can go to try to find a match to make her and her mother happy.
Tuesday, May 18, 2010
Friday, May 14, 2010
What I Got for Mom
So Mother's Day just passed last weekend and I think I got my mom something very clever! Besides the Banana Republic shirts that my sisters and I got for her (which I am sure she loved), I went one step further in my quest to make my mom happy. I joined Jdate (again)!
Now, the main reason I didn't join before was because it was really so expensive. I mean, I am a nice Jewish girl working for a Jewish non-profit. I can't afford all these dating sites, events, and whatnot. But Jdate decided to run a special deal just for our Jewish mothers....half off! Seriously? Half off?! Okay sign me up! So, I did...six months at half off. Of course I told me mom about this gift and she has asked me everyday since if I am using it. "Are you using my Mother's Day present?" she always asks!
So far, I have signed on and taken a look around. I need to update my profile, I have no pictures of my new haircut which I need to add. And I really my accomplice to help me write me profile which is seriously out of date. Plus, doing the whole online thing is more fun with her anyway!
As for mom...I am going to be visiting her a few times this summer. Maybe we can use her gift together.
Now, the main reason I didn't join before was because it was really so expensive. I mean, I am a nice Jewish girl working for a Jewish non-profit. I can't afford all these dating sites, events, and whatnot. But Jdate decided to run a special deal just for our Jewish mothers....half off! Seriously? Half off?! Okay sign me up! So, I did...six months at half off. Of course I told me mom about this gift and she has asked me everyday since if I am using it. "Are you using my Mother's Day present?" she always asks!
So far, I have signed on and taken a look around. I need to update my profile, I have no pictures of my new haircut which I need to add. And I really my accomplice to help me write me profile which is seriously out of date. Plus, doing the whole online thing is more fun with her anyway!
As for mom...I am going to be visiting her a few times this summer. Maybe we can use her gift together.
Friday, April 30, 2010
19 Things
So, I found this article today on Yahoo! about the nineteen things to not say to your single friends....so yes I am cutting and pasting it in all of its glory!
Why do we have so many sayings and maxims for dating? A single gal is likely to get slammed with them ad nauseam as soon as she expresses any unhappiness at her situation.
Since we could all use a good laugh, I asked some friends and Twitter followers to send in their most hated adages. I know you've heard them all before, but I just couldn't believe how many there were! Here's a tiny compilation. Enjoy -- today, they're not directed at you!
It happens when you're not looking. "This is just bull. Some people find people when they're looking; some don't. You're not doing anything wrong by going out and meeting people." -Beth
There are plenty of fish in the sea. "I dated a guy whose last name was Fish. People just had a BLAST with that one." -Kelly
So, why are you single? "I generally dislike this question. I mean honestly, if I knew why, I don't think I would be single right now, now would I?!" -Erica
You're too picky. "This may be true, but it feels like I'm getting criticized for my taste, vision, and close-mindedness -- when I'm already down." -Sarah
You'll find the right person for you. -Kelly
He's out there. -Kelly
It was just bad timing. "Like it's so easy to dismiss a guy on such an emotionless and objective reason." -Taryn
Just have fun with it! "Um, don't tell me how to date in my thirties when you got married at 24." -Maya
Have you tried online dating? "Duh!" -Elisa
He just wasn't the right guy for you. "I know! That's what I'm complaining about!" - Elisa
Well, when Steve and I first got together... "Wait, I still want to talk about me." -Elisa
When the time is right, you will meet someone. -Betsy
Wow, I wish I were single and in your shoes! "Really?! I'm pretty sure you CAN be single if you actually want to be. That there is an attainable dream, so if you aren't messing with me right now out of pity (which I suspect you are), please go for it!" -Kim
Your turn next [at weddings]. -Natlondon, via Twitter
It will happen when you least expect it. -dlegas05, via Twitter
Some guy is going to come along and ruin your career/life plans. "I am 32 and no one has ruined the last 10 years of plans." -frolicblog, via Twitter
But you're so pretty! Why don't you have a boyfriend? "There's just no graceful way to answer that." -earnesteats, via Twitter
It just wasn't meant to be. "Any of these platitudes are exponentially more annoying when coming from the mouths of smug marrieds." -Reberoodle, via Twitter
Sure, Steve rescues kids from abusive homes, donated my sister a kidney, and picks up fresh flowers for me daily on his way home from work, but will he QUIT IT with the sports on TV already? "Single people just hate to be complained to about petty relationship stuff. If you do this, I'm not going to want to hang out with you. (In fact, maybe I'll call Steve and ask him if he wants to watch the Yankees game?)" -Kim
Bottom line, if you're in a relationship or married and you don't have any specific, original advice or wisdom for your single friend -- and you must use an established saying -- we would prefer to hear neutral ones like, "This too shall pass" or "Take it one day at a time." They are so much more helpful and comforting -- you have no idea!
Also of note: not one person I polled mentioned they were tired of hearing, "He's just not that into you." I think that's because it's not condescending. And apparently, it's not overused. So that one is still OK to say. Thanks for listening!
Now to all my friends and family that are married and/or in relationships, I do appreciate your love and advice. I can't thank you enough for your support and honesty, not just with this, but with everything in my life. So please, feel free to post your original spin on these classics!
Why do we have so many sayings and maxims for dating? A single gal is likely to get slammed with them ad nauseam as soon as she expresses any unhappiness at her situation.
Since we could all use a good laugh, I asked some friends and Twitter followers to send in their most hated adages. I know you've heard them all before, but I just couldn't believe how many there were! Here's a tiny compilation. Enjoy -- today, they're not directed at you!
It happens when you're not looking. "This is just bull. Some people find people when they're looking; some don't. You're not doing anything wrong by going out and meeting people." -Beth
There are plenty of fish in the sea. "I dated a guy whose last name was Fish. People just had a BLAST with that one." -Kelly
So, why are you single? "I generally dislike this question. I mean honestly, if I knew why, I don't think I would be single right now, now would I?!" -Erica
You're too picky. "This may be true, but it feels like I'm getting criticized for my taste, vision, and close-mindedness -- when I'm already down." -Sarah
You'll find the right person for you. -Kelly
He's out there. -Kelly
It was just bad timing. "Like it's so easy to dismiss a guy on such an emotionless and objective reason." -Taryn
Just have fun with it! "Um, don't tell me how to date in my thirties when you got married at 24." -Maya
Have you tried online dating? "Duh!" -Elisa
He just wasn't the right guy for you. "I know! That's what I'm complaining about!" - Elisa
Well, when Steve and I first got together... "Wait, I still want to talk about me." -Elisa
When the time is right, you will meet someone. -Betsy
Wow, I wish I were single and in your shoes! "Really?! I'm pretty sure you CAN be single if you actually want to be. That there is an attainable dream, so if you aren't messing with me right now out of pity (which I suspect you are), please go for it!" -Kim
Your turn next [at weddings]. -Natlondon, via Twitter
It will happen when you least expect it. -dlegas05, via Twitter
Some guy is going to come along and ruin your career/life plans. "I am 32 and no one has ruined the last 10 years of plans." -frolicblog, via Twitter
But you're so pretty! Why don't you have a boyfriend? "There's just no graceful way to answer that." -earnesteats, via Twitter
It just wasn't meant to be. "Any of these platitudes are exponentially more annoying when coming from the mouths of smug marrieds." -Reberoodle, via Twitter
Sure, Steve rescues kids from abusive homes, donated my sister a kidney, and picks up fresh flowers for me daily on his way home from work, but will he QUIT IT with the sports on TV already? "Single people just hate to be complained to about petty relationship stuff. If you do this, I'm not going to want to hang out with you. (In fact, maybe I'll call Steve and ask him if he wants to watch the Yankees game?)" -Kim
Bottom line, if you're in a relationship or married and you don't have any specific, original advice or wisdom for your single friend -- and you must use an established saying -- we would prefer to hear neutral ones like, "This too shall pass" or "Take it one day at a time." They are so much more helpful and comforting -- you have no idea!
Also of note: not one person I polled mentioned they were tired of hearing, "He's just not that into you." I think that's because it's not condescending. And apparently, it's not overused. So that one is still OK to say. Thanks for listening!
Now to all my friends and family that are married and/or in relationships, I do appreciate your love and advice. I can't thank you enough for your support and honesty, not just with this, but with everything in my life. So please, feel free to post your original spin on these classics!
Monday, April 26, 2010
No Way!
So I think one big fear people have when doing the whole online dating thing is that you are going to see someone you know show up on your screen. Normally I might just laugh this off, but what happened this week was so hilarious I had to share it.
As some of you may know I work for a non-profit and part of my job is working with our young volunteers (young being 20's and 30's). I don't mind it when they are helpful and realize that our job is not to cater to them but to create great events that raise money for a good cause. There are some of these people that are so great and then there are some who treat us staff like nothing better than gum on their shoes. I am not kidding, it is a sense of entitlement and elitism I have never known.
Well, I am sure you can guess the rest....one of these gems showed up in my matches on match.com! Imagine my horror and surprise! I didn't know what to do. I quickly clicked "no" that I was not interested in this person. And all I can hope for is that I don't show up in their search. I did mention this little incident to some of my co-workers. I won't lie, we had a big laugh over it (so much so that I was crying from laughing so hard). Obviously, this is not someone I think could be a match (even if he has gotten better with us over the years) and running into him at events will prove to be fun. I mean, now I will have to look better than ever!
As some of you may know I work for a non-profit and part of my job is working with our young volunteers (young being 20's and 30's). I don't mind it when they are helpful and realize that our job is not to cater to them but to create great events that raise money for a good cause. There are some of these people that are so great and then there are some who treat us staff like nothing better than gum on their shoes. I am not kidding, it is a sense of entitlement and elitism I have never known.
Well, I am sure you can guess the rest....one of these gems showed up in my matches on match.com! Imagine my horror and surprise! I didn't know what to do. I quickly clicked "no" that I was not interested in this person. And all I can hope for is that I don't show up in their search. I did mention this little incident to some of my co-workers. I won't lie, we had a big laugh over it (so much so that I was crying from laughing so hard). Obviously, this is not someone I think could be a match (even if he has gotten better with us over the years) and running into him at events will prove to be fun. I mean, now I will have to look better than ever!
Friday, April 23, 2010
Spring Cleaning
Yes, it is that time of year, when people clean out their closets, get rid of old junk and make plans to start fresh. And I am no different, although I feel like I am taking it to the extreme. I feel like I have to (in a way) reinvent myself. Things have not been going all that well for me for a while now and I haven't really been doing much to change it. So all of that is starting to change!
Starting with my hair. Yes, as most women would attest to, I am very particular about my hair. I have rules about how it can look after a haircut and I get nervous every time the scissors head my way. However, I recently decided to let myself go and I got bangs! Or as my stylist called them "framing." And I have to say I LOVE them! I figured with my new hair, I have a bit of a new attitude, I definitely feel better about my overall look and am liking what I see in the mirror!
Next change....and its a big one! My apartment! Yes, in the last two days I have moved from my two bedroom that I used to share (with some nice and some not so nice roommates over the years) to a studio for just me and Poppy. After getting amazing movers who packed me up and moved me out I have pretty much gotten the place put together. I have a few more little things to put away, but I am starting to feel like it is home. I feel like it will give me a fresh start and I am already feeling lighter and happier (and it has only been two days!).
Okay, so maybe it is only two spring cleaning big ticket items for now. But I feel like it is a chance for me to start over, a chance to feel refreshed and begin again. So here is hoping to a new beginning and good things to come.
Starting with my hair. Yes, as most women would attest to, I am very particular about my hair. I have rules about how it can look after a haircut and I get nervous every time the scissors head my way. However, I recently decided to let myself go and I got bangs! Or as my stylist called them "framing." And I have to say I LOVE them! I figured with my new hair, I have a bit of a new attitude, I definitely feel better about my overall look and am liking what I see in the mirror!
Next change....and its a big one! My apartment! Yes, in the last two days I have moved from my two bedroom that I used to share (with some nice and some not so nice roommates over the years) to a studio for just me and Poppy. After getting amazing movers who packed me up and moved me out I have pretty much gotten the place put together. I have a few more little things to put away, but I am starting to feel like it is home. I feel like it will give me a fresh start and I am already feeling lighter and happier (and it has only been two days!).
Okay, so maybe it is only two spring cleaning big ticket items for now. But I feel like it is a chance for me to start over, a chance to feel refreshed and begin again. So here is hoping to a new beginning and good things to come.
Thursday, April 15, 2010
One Day Left!!
For an amazing giveaway...head over to a great blog called Saving the Best for Last! I won't lie, I hope I win, but you should enter anyway.
Also, just to clear some stuff up about my lest entry. Someone mentioned that there may not need to be a spark, but attraction. There was neither, so maybe I shouldn't have used the word spark? Although it doesn't matter anyway, I haven't heard form him and thats okay.
Also, just to clear some stuff up about my lest entry. Someone mentioned that there may not need to be a spark, but attraction. There was neither, so maybe I shouldn't have used the word spark? Although it doesn't matter anyway, I haven't heard form him and thats okay.
Thursday, April 8, 2010
When Sparks Don't Fly
So I mentioned a few posts ago that one of my girlfriends wanted to set me up with a nice Jewish guy she knew. He and I e-mailed for a bit and finally set up a date for last night.
I have to say I had a great time, the conversation was easy, he was super nice, and the place was really fun. But there was just no spark on my end. I felt like I was hanging out with a friend. Now, I know I don't necessarily have to feel all crazy and lovey after meeting someone for the first time. I know that things can develop over time, I just don't see that happening.
Some people think that the spark, the butterflies, the whatever you want to call it can be fleeting and doesn't make a relationship last. But shouldn't you walk away from a date hoping he'll call, or wondering when you are going to see him again?
I have to say I had a great time, the conversation was easy, he was super nice, and the place was really fun. But there was just no spark on my end. I felt like I was hanging out with a friend. Now, I know I don't necessarily have to feel all crazy and lovey after meeting someone for the first time. I know that things can develop over time, I just don't see that happening.
Some people think that the spark, the butterflies, the whatever you want to call it can be fleeting and doesn't make a relationship last. But shouldn't you walk away from a date hoping he'll call, or wondering when you are going to see him again?
Monday, March 22, 2010
Sucked in...again
So in the last week I got a bunch of e-mails from eHarmony letting me know that I had matches that wanted to communicate with me. I thought I would sign in just to see what was going on and I saw a little tab that said you could purchase three months for $19.00/month. Well, that seemed like a bargain after their regular prices so I signed back up. And yes, I feel like I am have sucked in once again!
I checked out the people who wanted to communicate with me. Seriously?! What do we have in common, what twenty-nine levels of compatibility is eHarmony talking about?! Its ridiculous and I have nobody to blame but myself. Needless to say, I have the date in June marked on my calender so I don't forget to cancel!
I checked out the people who wanted to communicate with me. Seriously?! What do we have in common, what twenty-nine levels of compatibility is eHarmony talking about?! Its ridiculous and I have nobody to blame but myself. Needless to say, I have the date in June marked on my calender so I don't forget to cancel!
Wednesday, March 17, 2010
Much Better
Recently I had a Girl's Night Out with a friend of mine where we had a couple of bottles of wine and some yummy food. During the course of the evening we got to talking about being single and things we have both done to meet men. Everything from speed dating to online dating, to just going out and looking around (I'll admit to checking people out on the subway). So I told her about the whole Facebook friending and how I felt that was not an acceptable way to set someone up. All of a sudden she remembered that she knew a nice Jewish guy that she wanted to set me up with. Of course I told her I was game for that and just make sure he didn't friend me on Facebook.
Well, I got an e-mail from him yesterday and I just e-mailed back. Hopefully we will make some plans to meet up next week and I will have more things to blog for you about!
In other news....My fellow Blogger over at Saving the Best for Last blogged about a new dating site she found where you are sent matches based on the type of date they come up with. Basically you finish the sentence, "How about we..." and put in the date you would plan. It hasn't launched yet, but you get in for free now. Who knows? It is a new thing to try, right? So, thanks MCW for a great idea! We'll have to trade stories if anything comes out of that!
Well, I got an e-mail from him yesterday and I just e-mailed back. Hopefully we will make some plans to meet up next week and I will have more things to blog for you about!
In other news....My fellow Blogger over at Saving the Best for Last blogged about a new dating site she found where you are sent matches based on the type of date they come up with. Basically you finish the sentence, "How about we..." and put in the date you would plan. It hasn't launched yet, but you get in for free now. Who knows? It is a new thing to try, right? So, thanks MCW for a great idea! We'll have to trade stories if anything comes out of that!
Wednesday, March 10, 2010
Dating, Facebook Style
Okay, so what is going on with Facebook? I know its a social networking site where we all stalk ex-boyfriends and look for cute crushes. But is it a place to find a date?
Recently, a friend of mine called and said she had someone she would like to set me up with. Seeing as how men are really lined up at my door...I said yes. She told me a bit about him and I agreed she could go ahead with the fix up. Well, I didn't hear from her about it, but low and behold a few days later I have a new friend request on facebook. And you guessed it, it was from that guy! Seriously?! You're going to facebook friend me? I was really surprised. To me a set up is an exchange of phone numbers or even e-mails, but not friending someone you don't even know on facebook! What do you think??
Recently, a friend of mine called and said she had someone she would like to set me up with. Seeing as how men are really lined up at my door...I said yes. She told me a bit about him and I agreed she could go ahead with the fix up. Well, I didn't hear from her about it, but low and behold a few days later I have a new friend request on facebook. And you guessed it, it was from that guy! Seriously?! You're going to facebook friend me? I was really surprised. To me a set up is an exchange of phone numbers or even e-mails, but not friending someone you don't even know on facebook! What do you think??
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