Last night I had a date with M, who I had spoken to on the phone a little over a week ago. We had tried to schedule something sooner but this was the night that worked. M was nice enough to let me pick a place in my neighborhood so I wouldn't have to schlep too far. So I picked a nice wine bar a few blocks from my place and was ready to go!
All day I was not feeling too excited about this date. Just to recap a bit, most of the dates I go on aren't what we would call successful. Not to mention the fact that it had been about a million degrees this summer and I don't like to be hot, it just puts me in a funk. Beyond that I spent the whole day at work wondering what I am doing there (for those who don't know I really hate my job). So needless to say I was kind of feeling a little wenchy about the whole date thing.
M got there before I did and was waiting outside and I have to admit he is much cuter in person than his Jdate photos. We walked in, took a seat at a corner table and after that it was just so easy! He made me laugh, I made him laugh, the conversation just flowed simply. We ordered a bunch of tapas and an delicious bottle of wine. Everything was just so lovely that three and a half hours later we were still sitting there being given complimentary glasses of champagne from the manager. We talked about everything from sports to our families to college days. I really had such a great time which was totally unexpected given my mood earlier in the day. By the end of the night he was holding my hand across the table and we both were a little sad it was so late and we had to go. We walked out of the place and after a little awkwardness there was a small (small) smooch. We both said we had fun and he asked if I would like to get together again. Obviously I said yes, but there was no set date or confirmed plans.
So, what do you think? I mean I know the date went well, and I am going to send him a little message today saying thanks again and that I had fun. Was not setting something up then and there a bad sign? Either way, as I was telling my accomplice earlier, if nothing happens, I still had fun. And she pointed out that even if nothing happens it has reinstilled my faith that there a few good guys out there.
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6 comments:
sounds GREAT! I think if you haven't heard from him in a few days I would be worried but I'm betting he calls you and sets something up.
BTW - you and MCW should do a post about your thoughts on guys texting to set things up. When I first met hubs I told him UNDER NO CIRCUMSTANCES to text me. I think guys use it as a cushion and it drives me nutz!
Found you through you friend E's blog.
When you send him a thanks, had a great time message (if you haven't already), why not propose the details for the next date? E.g., early Sunday afternoon, Kayaking on the river (when my brother lived in Park Slope, he was able to kayak on one of the rivers around the city) or "urban hiking" - taking the subway to the Brooklyn Bridge and walking across it, then treating yourself to a snack at a coffee shop on the other side, or taking a ferry ride around Manhattan. It's a casual outing for during the day, gives you a chance to do something for a couple of hours or way longer if it's going well.
That way, he knows you are interested, willing to do a little bit of legwork, AND get your next date going. Instead of sitting around all anxious and playing games, be assertive (but not aggressive). Unless you are the kind of girl the refuses to ask a guy out. But that's not my own M.O., and I never suggest doing that.
I don't know if you have already, but DON'T send him a message!!!
You already told him you had fun, he will contact you...
Sorry...I wanted to get that last message out in case you were getting ready to hit send!
Emailing and texting is no way to start anything. I have learned that if a guy likes you he will pick up the phone and call. No matter what. I actually confirmed this with my guy friend yesterday. Guys like a little mystery in girls...
That being said I think the date sounds like it went great! My friend Lara always says that a guy should mention a day to get together before the date ends. But, I have found that it's ok if they don't as long as they do mention getting together again.
I think this date sounded very promising! A successful first date is a rare thing. I think I'd give him a chance to contact you. Don't be surprised if it takes a day or two; he may be waiting to see if you're anxious to see him again (i.e. waiting for a message from you). Right now, you are sitting in the driver's seat.
Yay for good dates! I do stand by my statement that even if nothing happens, it shows you that there are still good guys out there and great first dates to be had! Hopefully you'll hear from him soon...if you don't, chalk it up to a fun time and move along...
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