Thursday, July 15, 2010

Too Many Words

Recently I was having dinner with a friend of mine who is also doing the whole online dating thing. We shared some stories and had a good laugh over some yummy sangria and asparagus that was soooo delish!! A couple of days later she sent me an e-mail forwarding a message she got from a potential match. I seriously cannot even begin to explain this email. I was laughing so hard when I was reading it, I thought it must have been a joke, but it wasn't. It was over one thousand words long and read like a resume for a job or a bio for a book. This is the very first paragraph.

"I posses nine of what I consider the most important qualities of a good leader and counselor: initiative, high motivation, outstanding organizational skills, self-starter, integrity and good communication skills, team work, caring, and ability to conduct a program to its fullest. My easy going nature and ability to get along with people, would certainly contribute to my ability as a counselor to function both as a friend and a mentor."

It then went into detailing his date of birth and went into everything from where his mother was from to the shul he went to as a child. It chronicled his rise in the ranks of the boy scouts and his desire to become a pilot (which he did do in case you're curious).

"From first grade through fifth grade I was in Cub Scouts, and then proceeded onto Boy Scouts, where I earned the rank of an Eagle Scout the highest rank a scout can earn. During my time in Cub Scouts I earned the religious Jewish Aleph Medal, and later in Boy Scouts achieved the Ner-Tamid Award. From age 14 to 21 I was a member of the Explorer Scouts. Now at 28, I am an adult leader, and continuing to donate my time in the interest of our youth. In my sophomore and junior year in college I took two classes concerning the history of the Jewish people, from ancient times to the present. (sample available upon reqest)"

Yes, you read correctly, he offered up a writing sample! What? This 1,180 word essay isn't enough?!

What was interesting about this e-mail is that not once did he ever ask my friend anything about her and even though the whole e-mail was about him it was so impersonal. So, needless to say this wasn't a match and we all agreed (jokingly) that she should respond with an e-mail that goes something like:

Thank you for your interest, but we have decided to go in another direction. We will keep your bio on file.


Dee Stephens said...

typical pilot for you. They are totally self-centered. I went out with one and that's all it took for me.

MCW said...

Shut the F up. That is great. The best dates I have been on from match are with guys who have short profiles and the emails are short and sweet. Less is more!

The Frisky Virgin said...

WOW. Unreal. Um, this isn't a job interview. Poor guy--he doesn't have a clue. Cute blog, btw. :)