Too Many Words

Recently I was having dinner with a friend of mine who is also doing the whole online dating thing. We shared some stories and had a good laugh over some yummy sangria and asparagus that was soooo delish!! A couple of days later she sent me an e-mail forwarding a message she got from a potential match. I seriously cannot even begin to explain this email. I was laughing so hard when I was reading it, I thought it must have been a joke, but it wasn't. It was over one thousand words long and read like a resume for a job or a bio for a book. This is the very first paragraph.

"I posses nine of what I consider the most important qualities of a good leader and counselor: initiative, high motivation, outstanding organizational skills, self-starter, integrity and good communication skills, team work, caring, and ability to conduct a program to its fullest. My easy going nature and ability to get along with people, would certainly contribute to my ability as a counselor to function both as a friend and a mentor."

It then went into detailing his date of birth and went into everything from where his mother was from to the shul he went to as a child. It chronicled his rise in the ranks of the boy scouts and his desire to become a pilot (which he did do in case you're curious).

"From first grade through fifth grade I was in Cub Scouts, and then proceeded onto Boy Scouts, where I earned the rank of an Eagle Scout the highest rank a scout can earn. During my time in Cub Scouts I earned the religious Jewish Aleph Medal, and later in Boy Scouts achieved the Ner-Tamid Award. From age 14 to 21 I was a member of the Explorer Scouts. Now at 28, I am an adult leader, and continuing to donate my time in the interest of our youth. In my sophomore and junior year in college I took two classes concerning the history of the Jewish people, from ancient times to the present. (sample available upon reqest)"

Yes, you read correctly, he offered up a writing sample! What? This 1,180 word essay isn't enough?!

What was interesting about this e-mail is that not once did he ever ask my friend anything about her and even though the whole e-mail was about him it was so impersonal. So, needless to say this wasn't a match and we all agreed (jokingly) that she should respond with an e-mail that goes something like:

Thank you for your interest, but we have decided to go in another direction. We will keep your bio on file.