No Chemistry?!

So I have been plugging away at this whole eHarmony thing and I have to say I can't say it is all that different from any other online dating site. I mean, you get your matches sent to you and you can review them before you decide if you want to move forward with communication. You can look at their various pictures (some guys posting pics dating back to 2006...not okay) and read what they have to say about themselves, their passions, and their goals. Seems pretty straightforward. Once you decide if you want to communicate you can send that person some introductory multiple choice questions and basically move forward from there.
Here is where it gets interesting...you can also decide that a person is not your match. Basically you've read what they had to say and looked at their photos and decided they are just not for you. Now, I won't lie, I have done that, just closed a match because I just didn't find them attractive (shallow much?). I usually just click that I want to close the match and list my reason as "other." I think people get the point without being cruel, you know? Well, today someone closed their match with me and listed the reason as "I don't feel that the chemistry is there." Yes, because clearly you can sense chemistry from three pictures and my answers to some inane questions. Just click "other" because dude, I wasn't attracted to you and your shortness, baldness, or cross eyes either!

Shallow LMG?

So, I have been back on match.com and signed up for eHarmony. I decided not to let this whole thing with "F" ruin "Operation 3.0" for me and I won't! What I forgot was how disheartening the whole online dating thing is. Let's start with match.com, since its old familiar really.

I will look through countless of profiles, most of which I have already seen, before I find one or two that I would want to e-mail. I won't lie, I haven't sent an e-mail yet. I have winked at a couple of people and I mentioned e-mailing to my accomplice. So hopefully we'll do that this weekend. {Accomplice: if you are reading this then hopefully that means your computer is fixed!!!}

Now, onto eHarmony the new and exciting form of matching based on all sorts of levels of compatibility. I sat through the eight million question survey, paid the overpriced fee and waited for matches to be sent my way. I have heard alot of people say that eHarmony doesn't match Jews, but I have to say, I have gotten quite a number of matches, and I rated religious compatibility as being very important. Now, there is a whole process to this also, you can't just decide to want to e-mail one of your matches. You have to go through three other steps before you reach 'open communication.' So I open my matches daily (some of whom live so far from NY, I wonder if eHarmony owns a map!) and take a look at what I have been offered. I have to say, its been an interesting process. There have not been that many people I really want to communicate with, even if eHarmony thinks we would be a great match! Out of the over thirty people that I ahve been matched with I have sent maybe ten of them the first round of communication questions and of course none of them have responded. I have been sent first round requests from some other matches and I have responded to two of them. But for the most part, I feel like I am so shallow because looks wise? Woah! Not anyone I would ever want to go out with. I am not saying I am a super model, far from it. But eHarmony is kidding itself it thinks that looks are not important at all. I think you do have to find the person you are with attractive. I am not saying my jaw has to fall on the floor because I am matched with some hottie. But I would like to open a profile, or a request for communication and not immideiatly think of "Revenge of the Nerds" and not in a funny way!

Summer Memories

Thanks to a my fellow blogger over at Saving the Best for Last for tagging me in this fun little game! I agree it does help with Blogger's Block, since I don't have much to blog about at the moment. So here goes:

Favorite Summer Movie: So I don't really have a favorite since I can watch movies over and over. But one that has been playing on TV alot recently is "Overboard" with Golie Hawn and Kurt Russel. I never get tired of that movie!

Favorite Summer Cocktail: So my accomplice had this drink at her bridal shower and we called them blushing brides, I think they have another name, I just can't think of it. Basically it is a cocktail made with ruby red vodka, orange juice, a splash of cranberry juice and a champagne floater. Delish! And if you have champagne taste on a beer budget (me) you can just put a splash of ginger ale, its really about the bubbles!

Favorite Summer Song: I don't think I have one, I am not the biggest music person. But I would have to say, just listening to a mix of 80's songs usually makes me happy. So I guess that would be it.

Favorite Summer Meal: I would have to say that I really do love a cookout. Something about a hamburger on the grill just makes me think of summer! Even better if there is some cole slaw, baked beans, corn, and a nice cold beer (Sam's Summer Ale of course!)

Favorite Summer Outfit: I too am not a fan of shorts, but I mean the short short ones. I am a fan of the new Bermudas that have become popular. I do like to wear dresses too in the summer, but I don't like to have my thighs touching, so its really a run off between the two items!

Favorite Summer Reading: Pink Books! You know those books that sit at the front of Barnes and Noble that all have pink covers or a girly picture (shoes) and are about a girl in London (usually) who loses her job and through some quirky maneuvering finds a new calling and meets the love of her life by the end! I know it is a bit embarrassing, but I love them and I can usually get through two or three each week when I have vacation time, so its a guilty summer pleasure!

Favorite Summer Moment(s): I know my accomplice will be shocked by this...but I actually love going out on the boat with her and to the beach. For some reason it really means that it is summer to me. Even though i hat being hot and turn into a lobster after 2.5 seconds, I always have fun! Thank goodness we found those cheap umbrellas at CVS! Of course I also love heading to Saratoga Springs for the races in the summer (although it's better in the fall when I have the house to myself!). Besides that, my favorite summer memories growing up would be going to visit my grandparents in the Cayman Islands (I know, weird that there seems to be a beach theme!). My Saba and Savta are really just such special people and getting to spend the summers with them was always a treat (not to mention tasty...Savta muffins yum!).

So, I guess that's that. I would love to hear some of your answers too, so let me know what your Summer Memories are! And enjoy the rest of your summer!

Ironic? Or just Funny?

So today I signed onto match.com just to see what was going on. I noticed I had a new "wink" from someone so I decided to check out his profile. There was nothing too exciting about it, not bad, not great. Just an average looking and all around average guy looking for a nice Jewish girl (hey, that's me!). So I kept on reading and the part that made me laugh out loud was as follows:
my pets: I have a cock-a-poo named "F", very cute, doesn't shed, best dog in the world!
Yes, that's right, this new potential match has a little pup with the same name as "F." Ironic? Or just plain funny? I thought it was a little funny myself and I might just e-mail this guy back. Who knows? Maybe "F" (the cock-a-poo) and I are meant to be!

LIG (as my mom says...Let It Go)

So, I have not heard from "F" and while there are so many things I never said to him, I can vent here and then move on....
For me, it just makes no sense for someone to be acting this way, especially someone who was self aware enough to say that he has done this in the past and doesn't want to repeat the same mistakes he has made....newsflash! you are repeating them, and karma is a bitch! And its frustrating for me personally (not his fault) that I opened myself to this being hurt...I know its part of relationships, and I know will probably be hurt again, it just sucks especially Because I told him that I am very careful and I told him that getting closer to him was scary, and the minute I did finally get there, that's when he decided to pull this shit...and its not fair although rationally I know fair has nothing to do with it. I am just venting and I have to say, it really feels great! I don't think I will get the chance to say these things to "F" it is just nice to have a place to share them.
But what really pisses me off most now, is that I still want him to call me, I would still go out with him, because I know (deep down) that this really has nothing to do with me, and he is clearly going through something...something I can't help with, and clearly I can't be a part of. I hope that whatever "F" is going through with his job and with his family works itself out. And I hope that he gets a better coping mechanism to deal with rough situations that can and will come up in the future.
Some people have mentioned I should try again with him, but I just don't know what to say at this point. I don't know how to make it more clear to him that I do care about him and I want to be there for him. So I think I just have to let it go and move forward on my own. Should he realize his mistake (yeah, seriously "F" big mistake!) then I can decide how to move forward from there, but now is a different issue.
So Little Match Girl is trying to move on. I have two friends who recently signed up for eHarmony, so I am willing to give that shot. And I still have my match.com membership for another month or two. I just don't want to crawl into a hole and cry about this. Am I sad about it? Yes. But I know that this is a part of relationships, and perhaps this one was not meant to be. There is someone out there for me, I think I am pretty awesome, so now I just have to find that person who thinks the same! :-)

Operation 3.0 is back...?

So, I realized that one month from today "Operation 3.0" will officially become "Operation 3.1" when I will celebrate my birthday. I also realized today that "F" is going through whatever he is going through and I need to move on. We spoke for a bit last night when he called to return my message. It was fine, although a bit of an awkward conversation. It is clear to me that he is unhappy with his job and is letting that permeate the other parts of his life. Well, that can be his choice, but I will now allow that to be mine. If "F" wants to see me again, he'll have to call and ask me out on a date. It will have to be starting from scratch. In the meantime, I am going back to match.com while I have my free months and will be looking for new potential dates. I know it may seem sudden or callous, but I don't feel the need to wallow in something that it seems really has nothing to do with me and I am willing to see what happens. But until he can get it together (or if he can get it together) "Operation 3.0" will be moving forward...

Words of Wisdom from Mom of Little Match Girl

So, I talked to my mom this weekend about everything going on. As some of you know, it has taken me a long time (like almost all of my close to 30 years) to be close to my mom. So clearly its a big deal if I am talking to her about it. Anyway, I was giving her the update about "F" since she forgets I have this blog and doesn't always read it. I told her how I was feeling about everything and that I really do believe this has nothing to do with me. At the same time, I also feel like this is not the way you treat someone who you claim to care about. I don't expect to be the main thing in his life right now given everything he has going on, but a little word here and there wouldn't be a bad thing. Even if he told me, "LMG, I just need some time to deal with whats going on" I think I could deal with that. At least give me the chance to decide if I can. Don't just ignore me. Well, my mom heard what I said. She asked me point blank if regardless of this I liked "F" and wanted to be with him. And the answer is yes, I do. I am so mad to say that, I really don;t want to get hurt. But I like him, he made me open up and I started to really look forward to being with him. I'm not talking marriage and children, but just spending time together, I guess being a couple. So the words of wisdom from my mom were basically:

Fight for what you want. At least give it a shot. If it doesn't work out, then it wasn't meant to, but at least you tried.

So, Mom, thanks for the advice, that's what I am going to do! And hey, if it doesn't work out, then I can be happy with the knowledge that I tried (oh, and that tomorrow my office building is giving away free Ben and Jerry's!!).

Limbo?

I don't know whats going on readers, and your help would be so appreciated! "F" clearly has something going on. I have been the one to call/text this week and he has made no effort to make plans. However, in his defense, he did tell me he was feeling under the weather. He also shared some personal information that is going on with his family at the moment which is more than he has ever done before. Is that enough to make up for his total lack of communication? I talked to my accomplice about it and I realized that I need to be with someone who is a bit more communicative. I am not the kind of girl who needs to see my significant other every minute of every day; I don't need to keep tabs on everything they do. But it would be nice to know, after a couple of days of not speaking, that he was thinking about me, that he wants to see me, that he is just wondering how I am doing. I know he has alot going on at the moment, and I think I have been really good these past couple of weeks by not being pushy. It is just that this is not the guy I started dating a few months ago! I know it hasn't been that long, but he was the one who was so open with his feelings for me. I was holding back. Now that I have let down my walls, and started to really like this guy, he is pulling away. Does it have to do with me? Or is it really just everything else going on? I know I need to say something to him, just letting him know how I am feeling and the things I need if we are going to keep seeing each other. If he can't do that, I guess "Operation 3.0" is back! I mean I still have a few months of free match.com left. And I won't lie, I signed on yesterday with my accomplice just to see, but it felt wrong. So, help me! How did we go from meeting friends to this? What do I do now?!

Meeting the Friends

On Friday night "F" came over and we went out to my friends' apartment for dinner. It was the first time he was meeting any of my friends, and I just thought it would be nice to have it be a relaxed evening. So off we went...
I think things went well, it was just six of us all together and dinner and a very low key thing. Basically sitting on the couch watching what is probably the worst 80's movie of all time! (In case you're wondering it is called "Satisfaction") I think everyone liked "F" and I know he thought the night went fine. We got home and just watched some TV and went to bed. And then in the morning instead of leaving he spent the day with me! I was so surprised! I had mentioned to him last weekend that I would like it if he stayed one day instead of rushing off to do whatever. And he listened and that really meant so much to me.
I am still just sort of going with the flow. I don't know what happened last week, and I am not bringing it up. But I am also taking a step back and letting him come to me when he wants to. I am trying not to be pushy or anything. So, while things were definitely better, I still feel like it is a 'wait and see' situation.