Thursday, December 11, 2008

Up Up and...

Well, not away, but the date with "B" last night was definitely a step up from previous dates in my life! We met at a central location so it would be easy for both of us to catch trains home, since we live in totally different areas. I thought that was fair for both of us.
Anyway, I'll admit that after the stalking, e-mail games, and cancelled date, I was not too excited to meet his guy. It was like a whole series in mixed messages and I just don't like all this game playing as I have mentioned before. So needless to say I was in a bit of a funk most of the day and not really looking forward to going out.
I got there and put on my happy face and decided to just make the best of it. My mom gave me a stern talking to during the day about how you never know and all that. So, I was surprised that I was actually having a decent time. Now, let me just be clear, me having a good time does not mean that I am all about "B" now. Believe me, I already sent a few more e-mails on match!
I just didn't have a horrible time and I could totally see hanging out with "B" again.
We just sat and talked for about an hour a half. We had a little bite to eat and I kind of felt like I was hanging out with a friend. I will say that on my part there was no attraction at all. That's not to say that kind of thing can't change, I am just putting it out there. We talked about our families and growing up in totally different places. I'm from Miami, he is from upstate NY. We talked about the holiday season, since its here and so much fun! He actually grew up celebrating Christmas in his home and not Hanukkah, I grew up in a Jewish home, where Christmas was something we watched our neighbors do (seriously, they have been on the "Today" show with their insane decorations!!). I'm sorry, and I have said it before, but I just want to meet a nice Jewish boy who I can bring home to mom (don't lie mom, that's what you want too). I just don't think "B" fits that bill. And to people that celebrate both, this is not a comment about that, its more a comment about what I want in my life and what kind of home I want to create with whoever I wind up with. But before you get all upset with me, I am not writing him off, I am just saying that right now I don't think this could be a match, but I am willing to give it another try. Now for more date details...
So we sat down and he told me he was not drinking, I'm sorry, but I needed a drink so I ordered a beer. For dinner I just ordered a soup he ordered an appetizer and dinner. Let me explain about my soup, I am not one of those girls who doesn't eat, in fact, I love food! But I had a late lunch and I love french onion soup, so I couldn't resist and it was totally filling. The conversation flowed fairly well with very few periods of silence. While I made him laugh a few times, he didn't really do the same for me. But I do love to make people laugh, so that's good I guess. Although i would have liked to chuckle a few time, oh well.
So, onto the end of the date when the check comes. This is always a tense moment for me since I have been on quite a few dates where the guy expects me to pay. So when the bill came I made my usual reach for my wallet and asked if I should pay. His response was "only if you want to." Really? This was another red flag about "B" for me. Listen up should always pay for the first date. Its just the right thing to do! So I just kind of sat there dumbfounded at that response and he was like "never mind, I'll get it." Okay, so that was a bit weird and a strange way to end the date. He walked me to the train and I gave him a little hug. All in all, it was not horrible but there were just no sparks for me.
Okay, so now comment away people, I know you're dying to!


Accomplice said...

Ok, we'll get to "B" in a minute...but I do have to say, to those who are arguing that they guy should court the girl...yes, this is true, if the guy was the one to approach the girl in the first place. This is that we're talking about here, people, not a guy who walked up to her in a store and asked for her number. In, it's very egalitarian, very you go I there isn't one person necessarily pursuing another, it's more of an agreed upon date. That being said, the onus is on both parties to make the plans, pay their way, etc...this is not one party asking out another, it's two parties agreeing to meet. Again, this were a different story if one person clearly were the pursuer...but this is not the case. So make the phone calls, pony up the cash for dinner, be your witty self, and get on with it!
That being said...see if "B" contacts you again to go out. If he does, go, but don't feel the need to see him again if the spark wasn't there. Or, e-mail him again and tell him that while you didn't click romantically, you think he's fun and you'd like to see him again as a friend. See what happens...I'm glad the conversation flowed quite nicely, that's always a plus!!

Sister of Accomplice said...

Hope you told him you celebrate Christmas too with your other family and that Santa once brought you a puppy! Thanks for the update. Accomplice, Other Sister of Accomplice and I were all together today waiting for the update--and planning the menu for Christmas Eve!

DYAP said...

I am so sorry Accomplice. I understand what you are saying about it being equal ooportunity with paying and what not when you are on match, but I still think the guy should pay on the first date!! I mean you have to show you are a mensch somehow. It's just the right thing to do. I think it's ok for the girl to contact they guy and make plans, but paying....come on.
Anyway, I am glad you had an ok time. Like Accomplice said, if you guys talk again say that you had a nice time and maybe you should hang out as friends again. You never know beautiful things can grow from a friendship!!