Thursday, August 6, 2009

Limbo?

I don't know whats going on readers, and your help would be so appreciated! "F" clearly has something going on. I have been the one to call/text this week and he has made no effort to make plans. However, in his defense, he did tell me he was feeling under the weather. He also shared some personal information that is going on with his family at the moment which is more than he has ever done before. Is that enough to make up for his total lack of communication? I talked to my accomplice about it and I realized that I need to be with someone who is a bit more communicative. I am not the kind of girl who needs to see my significant other every minute of every day; I don't need to keep tabs on everything they do. But it would be nice to know, after a couple of days of not speaking, that he was thinking about me, that he wants to see me, that he is just wondering how I am doing. I know he has alot going on at the moment, and I think I have been really good these past couple of weeks by not being pushy. It is just that this is not the guy I started dating a few months ago! I know it hasn't been that long, but he was the one who was so open with his feelings for me. I was holding back. Now that I have let down my walls, and started to really like this guy, he is pulling away. Does it have to do with me? Or is it really just everything else going on? I know I need to say something to him, just letting him know how I am feeling and the things I need if we are going to keep seeing each other. If he can't do that, I guess "Operation 3.0" is back! I mean I still have a few months of free match.com left. And I won't lie, I signed on yesterday with my accomplice just to see, but it felt wrong. So, help me! How did we go from meeting friends to this? What do I do now?!

6 comments:

Other Sister of Accomplice said...

I think that maybe an email or something is in order, saying basically what you said here: You're not wanting to be pushy, but that you can be there for him through anything if he would just tell you what's going on. If you haven't already, explain what a huge deal it was for you to let your walls down and now it seems that he's putting some up. Maybe he just doesn't want to involve you in his problems, but he has to know that that is part of being in a relationship. Maybe he's trying to keep his stress from you so you don't take it on? I don't know, just a few things to think about...love you sweetie!

MCW said...

Truthfully...it doesn't sounds good. I don't want to be a Debbie Downer but, when a guy doesn't make plans it usually isn't a good sign.
I have no idea if emailing or talking to him about your situation would help or hurt...everything is still so new...
And I know it has NOTHING to do with you. It probably has to do with him not understanding what it means to be in a relationship...

Anonymous said...

Personally I think that at this point you have stepped back way too far and while he is struggling with whatever, you have become more distant as well. When you return for the weekend it is time to have a face to face with him and open the lines of communication and outreach on both ends. If no one takes a chance, nothing can happen!

H said...

MAYBE you're thinking too much into it? I dunno...seems to be a very delicate situation. Since he's let you in on his family, that might just be it -- because that's probably not something he shares with everyone. Maybe it's work? Maybe he feels that you're distancing yourself so he's trying to do the same? Whatever the case may be, it can't be overlooked. If it gets too "uncomfortable" you know it's best to talk about it - even if it ends up the way you don't want it to...

And, I wouldn't feel too bad about looking at match.com again even if it is just to have a little peek!

Good luck with everything!! I'm keeping my fingers crossed that he's just being a "guy" and that this will pass!

Anonymous said...

I think you need to just be straight forward and tell him that you need to know what's going on, or at the least that it's something that's going to pass. No one can wait around forever, and it's no good to keep making up excuses for him. Good luck but it sounds like he may be pulling back for a reason (I hope I'm wrong!!)

Anonymous said...

Hi it's Sharon : ) I was so excited for you and F until I saw the recent posts.... Take it from a married lady who spent many years dating. You want to be with a guy who will be "present" during the good and bad times. If he has stuff going on, he needs to tell you and be real with you. It is not fair for him to distance himself and not communicate what's going on. You have already established a relationship and you deserve this much. You MUST have a face to face with him about it - no emails, no phonecalls- live conversation is in order and you will know what you need to know - whether it's good or bad -- you need to know asap. No more guessing and assuming. Call him, make a plan to see him and flat out ask him- what is going on with you two? what has changed for him? Because in the long run, you dont want a guy who is going to run the minute he has "stuff" going on. It's part of life afterall.Good luck.