What a Night!

So M and I went out again Friday night and it was such a great night! We met at my place and then headed down to Dos Caminos on Park Ave for dinner. M picked the place and I was totally fine with that, I had picked the places the last times we went out so I was happy to let him take charge of that. We took a cab downtown and just talked the whole way and continued to talk all through dinner (which was so good). After dinner we decided to walk a bit since it was such a beautiful night. We wound up walking all the way up to Rockefeller Center where we just stood by the fountain as tourists all around us took pictures. But I honestly didn't even notice them, it was like there really wasn't anyone else around (as cliche as that sounds). All we did was talk and then he kissed me and then we talked some more. Finally we decided to walk to the train and head back uptown.
When we got back to my place we immediately took Poppy for a walk. She was so happy to see M, she was wagging her tail and following him the whole time. It was actually really cute. We got back to my place and in the words of my mom, we played "Kissy Face." Yes, that's right, those are the words used by mom of Little Match Girl, and I love it! We were on the couch for a bit, but it is kind of small (really just a loveseat) so we moved onto the bed. There was just kissing and no cookie was given away! But before I knew it we were asleep (I didn't expect an overnight and neither did he) and the reason I woke up was not a good one.
Poppy got sick all over the kitchen floor. I heard her moving around and went to investigate only to find her standing in the corner looking at me and her mess with sad eyes. I felt so badly for her, I quickly cleaned everything up and M was so great about it. He just kept an eye on Poppy making sure she didn't get in my way and that she was all right. I put her down on a chair to rest and then we went back to sleep. I was expecting him to bolt after that, I mean I wouldn't blame the guy, it wasn't a pretty picture. Instead he stayed, put his arm around me and we fell asleep again. Usually when I am sleeping with someone (and I mean sleeping) there may be a little cuddle and then I turn away and it becomes, "this is my side of the bed, that's yours." Because I am a restless sleep and usually it takes me a while to fall asleep and be comfortable. That wasn't the case, we fell asleep wrapped up together (I can't think of a good way to put it) and woke up that way. I will be honest and say that has never happened!
Anyway, I am sad to say that when we woke up in the morning I saw that Poppy had gotten sick again twice in the middle of the night. Not a pleasant way to say good morning, but once again, M was so great about it, making sure Poppy was okay and just reassuring me that she would be all right. Once we were up, M had to leave as he had an early morning planned with his dad. We said goodbye after he jokingly asked me to walk him out (I live in a studio, not far to go) and once again while there was no plan made, the intention of seeing each other again was very clear.
So, I guess things are going well with M. We will just have to see. And as for Poppy, we went to the vet, he said she should be fine, I just have to monitor and give her some medicine. So, it is a waiting game all around! Good times!

Randoms

I didn't have anything in particular to share today, so I just thought I would put together a list of random things.

• I got to work at 9:01 this morning and it took all my strength not to put a note on my boss's desk saying "LMG 9:01, Good Morning"
• I went to use the restroom at work today and was greeted by perhaps the biggest roach I have ever seen! And I am from Miami, we have roaches! It was huge, so I screamed and ran out and then used the men's room cause yes, I am a wuss. (I will also be adding this to the reasons I hate my job)
• Some of my fellow bloggers have mentioned the passing of Bumpkin. I didn't know her or read her blog, but this is a community and a loss is felt throughout. I am sure she is feeling the outpouring of love from so many.
• I feel like an awful friend because I can't go to my accomplice's birthday party tomorrow night. She lives in Boston and it is just a logistical kerfuffle. Hopefully we will be able to have a do-over!
• My littlest sister is moving to Milan to study abroad at the end of the month, she gets on my nerves more than I can say, but I am going to miss her and can't wait to hear all about her adventures!
• I have not heard from M and I am not really sweating it. I'll still be e-mailing other people on Jdate and they are having a happy hour in a few weeks I am going to go to.
• Not hearing from M makes me wonder if the fact that I told people how great everything was (people like my mom, my sisters, friends) and it was only two dates put a jinx on the whole thing. Yes, I'll admit I can be a little superstitious (some may say crazy).

Okay, I think that pretty much covers my thoughts for the day (well, as far into the day as I am at the moment).

FUMING!

Okay, so this blog is not about my usual topic but about my job. Let me just say that I love the field I work in, I spent two years in graduate school to do this type of work and when I actually get the chance I love it. However, I am stuck in a place where my work isn't really appreciated, where other people get credit for my ideas, and where we are all held to different standards. It is not a positive work environment and I am doing everything within my power to find a new job. But today? Today I am fuming, and here is why.

I was late, I am usually not late to work. But with the heat index being close to one hundred degrees I had to make sure that Poppy was well situated and taken care of before I could get on the steamy subway. When I walked into work today and went to my desk there was a note from my boss just saying "Good Morning 9:45" (I walked in at 9:49). Now, I was not the only person to walk in late, and most of the time I am one of the first people in the office. But did every other person who walked in late have that lovely note on their desks? Nope! And that is just one example of the kind of stuff I have to put up with on a daily basis. Everyday I feel worse and worse about working here and I am trying so hard to get out. The field that I am in is small and I have put feelers out to everyone I know. So hopefully I will find something sooner rather than later because honestly, I don't know how much more I can take!

I keep thinking of the words to the Lily Allen song 22: "She's got an all right job, it's not a career/whenever she thinks about it, it brings her to tears."

That I think pretty much sums it up! I am going to remain positive though and just know that there are better things to come and I will continue to work hard to make it happen!

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In other news that you really want to know....M sent me a message on Saturday morning after the date saying he had a great time and we would talk soon. He is out of town this week for work, but has sent me a few little messages relating to baseball (since we cheer for bitter rivaling teams). I know that I don't want to be stuck in a text zone, so I am not prolonging these into conversations. I guess I will just have to see what happens when he gets back!

Let's Talk Dirty...

Martinis that is.

M and I had talked about our mutual love of a great dirty martini so we decided to venture out last night and look for a good one. We actually just wound up at only two different places since our second place happened to make an excellent one (vodka for me, gin for him). After a couple of drinks and some yummy food, before we knew it four hours had gone by! Just like last time, we talked and talked about so many different things and time just seemed to fly by. It was just so easy and nice (even though that word does little to describe it). I was talking to my accomplice before I left and she asked if I was nervous, and what is funny about it is that I really wasn't. Not before he came, not the whole time we were together. Like I said, it just comes so easily to be with him.

Anyway, onto the stuff I know you really want to know. During dinner M leaned towards me said "come here" and kissed me. And it was wonderful (which is funny because I am so not one for PDA). It wasn't raunchy and we were not like some people who I see where all I can think is, get a room! It was sweet and soft and just lovely. I will say everything got a little more intense later in the evening. We walked back to my place, took Poppy for a walk and then he came up to my little studio. Whats funny is that even though we spent most of the time making out we still talked some more and before we knew it, it was 1:00 in the morning and M had to go.

So, I do think it all feel promising. M mentioned that he will be out of town for most of the coming week and we both said we want to see each other again. However, once again there were no plans made. So I guess we will just have wait and see....

Awash

Not only is that the name of the (mediocre) restaurant from last night but it is also the way I felt about last night's date. We decided to meet at 7 and within the first few minutes I knew this was not a match and I couldn't wait to go home. The only word I can use to describe my date with J is: awkward. It was like he didn't really know how to make conversation and I had to steer the whole thing. I was really trying to be open and excited about this date, but I just couldn't. I know this isn't someone for me (I mean, a vegetarian would not fit in my steak loving family!). At the end of dinner he asked if I wanted to go grab a drink somewhere and I politely declined. Does this mean he thinks the date went well? I guess that answers my question from yesterday's post (one person can have a totally different date experience than the other).

Speaking of yesterday's post, after my rant and venting I got a message from M when I walked in the door. He apologized for not being in contact (granted it was only 24 hours and I may have been bordering the line to Crazy Town) and asked if I would like to get together this weekend. So now we have a date set up for Friday night, one I am actually looking forward to!

A Thought....

So I heard from M over text a few times during the week and while there was talk of getting together again, when I asked what his schedule looked like I never heard back. Now, it is fine if I don't see him again. It was only one date and I am not in love or anything like that. It is just that I hate the whole "I'm going to disappear now" thing. That is was what happened with F last summer and its happened to me before with another guy I was seeing when I first moved to NYC. We had seen each other for a while and I was going out of town for a holiday. He told em to call when I got back and when I did I never heard from him again.

What is that about? If you don't want to see me again (especially if we have a relationship) have the guts to say so. As for M and the one date thing, is it possible I was the only one who had such a great time? I don't really think so (I was talking to someone today who said it just can't be the one person on a date has a great time and the other doesn't). It is so rare (for me you know it is true!!) to have a first date go well enough that I really want to see the person again! So yes, I am a little disappointed in the whole thing. Especially given his prompting of going out again. Just another thing I can say I don't understand about dating, about men, about this whole thing!

I am trying to remain positive about the whole "operation" (OMG, a little over a month till I am 31 and it's "operation 3.2" here we come!). I have a date tonight with J which hopefully will be fun as we are having Ethiopian food (ie: no utensils)! I have not been active in e-mailing new people of Jdate and the whole matchmaker thing looks like a bust (I don't think I have gotten a new match in a week!). But I know there is something good coming for me (maybe not with this, but something!!).

Carrie Bradstein?

That is what my accomplice called me last night after I shared some news with her.

I have another date! And it isn't with M! I had talked to J from Jdate a couple of weeks ago and I didn't think he was that interested. We had a nice conversation and I thought he may ask me out, but nothing really happened. He ended the phone call with a generic "well, maybe we'll get together sometime" so I didn't think anything of it. So imagine my surprise when my phone rang last night and it was J! We are going out this coming Tuesday night and he is going to pick a place and let me know over the weekend. Two dates in two weeks with two different men?! Whose life is this? Carrie Bradstein indeed!

As for an update about M. I did text him on Wednesday (sorry MCW I didn't see your comment until later) saying thanks and I had a good time. His response was "ditto. I had a really nice time. looking forward to doing it again soon :-)" But I haven't heard anything since. But like I said before, I am okay with it because at the end of the day it was one date, and I had fun!

That Was Unexpected

Last night I had a date with M, who I had spoken to on the phone a little over a week ago. We had tried to schedule something sooner but this was the night that worked. M was nice enough to let me pick a place in my neighborhood so I wouldn't have to schlep too far. So I picked a nice wine bar a few blocks from my place and was ready to go!
All day I was not feeling too excited about this date. Just to recap a bit, most of the dates I go on aren't what we would call successful. Not to mention the fact that it had been about a million degrees this summer and I don't like to be hot, it just puts me in a funk. Beyond that I spent the whole day at work wondering what I am doing there (for those who don't know I really hate my job). So needless to say I was kind of feeling a little wenchy about the whole date thing.
M got there before I did and was waiting outside and I have to admit he is much cuter in person than his Jdate photos. We walked in, took a seat at a corner table and after that it was just so easy! He made me laugh, I made him laugh, the conversation just flowed simply. We ordered a bunch of tapas and an delicious bottle of wine. Everything was just so lovely that three and a half hours later we were still sitting there being given complimentary glasses of champagne from the manager. We talked about everything from sports to our families to college days. I really had such a great time which was totally unexpected given my mood earlier in the day. By the end of the night he was holding my hand across the table and we both were a little sad it was so late and we had to go. We walked out of the place and after a little awkwardness there was a small (small) smooch. We both said we had fun and he asked if I would like to get together again. Obviously I said yes, but there was no set date or confirmed plans.
So, what do you think? I mean I know the date went well, and I am going to send him a little message today saying thanks again and that I had fun. Was not setting something up then and there a bad sign? Either way, as I was telling my accomplice earlier, if nothing happens, I still had fun. And she pointed out that even if nothing happens it has reinstilled my faith that there a few good guys out there.

Tu B'Av

Today is Tu B'Av, a minor holiday on the Jewish calender that is considered to be a Valentine's Day of sorts. It is a lucky day to get married, engaged, go on a date, or possibly meet your besheret (your soul mate). Last night I went to a white party for Tu B'Av. I dressed in a cute skirt and of course white top and headed down to Riverside Park with my friend E ready to meet someone, and of course get my free cocktail! The line to get in was long (as was the line at the bar), but it looked promising that there were so many people in attendance. I was excited! So with my Irish poured vodka tonic I was ready to work the room, well the park.
E and I ran into a few people we knew and chatted around. I was being very outgoing and even walked up to total strangers (men of course) to start a conversation. For the most part everyone was really nice, but I don't think I met my besheret. However, there was one stand out that I have to mention. While E and I were talking to a group of people I noticed a guy standing alone right next to me. I thought I would be polite and ask how his evening was going and start to chat a bit. I won't lie, I had noticed him earlier in the night and was hoping to talk to him, so here was my big chance! Here was our conversation in a shortened version:
LMG: How is your night going?
GSG (Green Shirt Guy): Okay, not seeing anything I like.
LMG: (trying hard to be nice) What do you mean?
GSG: Well, I come to alot of these things and its always the same girls.
LMG: (trying harder to be nice) Well, I have never been to one of these things before. So I am just hoping to have a fun night
GSG: Yeah, well, I think I am just going to have to find a matchmaker, because I know what I want. 5ft7in, slender, smart, sexy....
LMG: (trying soooo soooo hard to remain calm) Yeah, well, maybe you should find one. Good luck and enjoy the rest of your night. (Douchebag!....said only to myself of course)
So, that just goes to show that someone who may look good on the outside can be a total jerk! I understand that you may not think I am a match for you, but to be so insulting about all the women there in front of me was just beyond! Needless to say I moved on and left shortly after that. But the night wasn't a total loss, I did get cat calls from every garbage truck diver on my way home! Thanks Tu B'Av!

Are You Marketable?

I finally got matched via the matchmaking site with someone I thought might be interesting. He was a little older than me and seemed like we had alot in common. I agreed to the match and waited for him to call. So, "D" called over the weekend and we started the usual getting to know you conversation. We talked about what we are doing (he is going back to med school after working on Wall Street for the past few years), I told him about my work for a non-profit and my longing to move on to something new. Now for those who know me, you know that I love my field and I love the work I do, but the place I am in is not a good fit and it is time to move on. I didn't get into the negative stuff with D, just explained that I was ready for a change, but loved my work. He mentioned moving into private sector work and I wondered if that was something I would be welcome in considering my specialized degree. His next words to me?
"Yeah, you're not very marketable."
What?! Woah, how do you know what my work skills are? I was totally offended, but decided to make light of it and chalk it up to just awkward phone talk. The conversation continued with D making more suggestions for my employable future and when I referenced his "marketable" comment in a joke, he didn't laugh. This was not going well. I ended the conversation when he condescendingly told me he was glad I had SOMETHING to do that night and wasn't sitting home alone (I promise, his tone was not friendly). Well, that's conversation was over and that match is now closed! Time to move on. But it did get me thinking....
Am I marketable? And I don't mean for jobs because regardless of anything else, I know I am good at what I do. I mean in this whole dating thing. Am I really letting myself be open enough to meet someone? What makes you marketable in this thing we call dating?
And I only have a few hours to find out, because tonight is Tubav (Jewish Valentine's Day) and I am heading out to a singles event with my friend E so who knows what could happen!