Congratulations!!

So for those who don't know (and I know I have not updated in a while) "Operation 3.0" has officially become "Operation 3.1." Yes, that's right, I hit the big 3-0 without much fanfare, but with wonderful friends and doing something for a wonderful cause. I spent my 30th doing a thirteen mile walk to raise money for cancer research. I wanted to look back on the big day and think I had done something a little more than just going out for dinner and (lots) of drinks. So, while I will not give out my name, if you are interested in making a donation to a great cause, please go to the JimmyFundWalk page and check it out! Okay now onto the whole reason you're here...

I have been plugging away at eHarmony as you know. I get delivered my matches on an almost daily basis and look at what Dr. Warren thinks is a perfect match. Oh, you know the whole shpeel, you've the seen the nauseating commercials enough times! Anyway, I have opened communication with over twenty different men, only to either be ignored (probably not paying an arm and a leg for their service of meeting me!), closed (we have gone over this before), or the very rare answer. So now I am on the final step of communication with one guy and we'll see what happens there. I have to answer his e-mail. But at least I get to say whatever I want and not answer multiple choice questions or anything like that! So, let's call this guy "G" and see where this goes...

Also, I have had a couple of guys initiate communication with me. What I find so humorous about this is that when eHarmony lets you know that someone is interested in you they send you an e-mail. the e-mail basically starts off saying:
Congratulations!! Someone wants to start communication with you!
I don't know why I think its so funny, but I just do! Even better are that the men who do wish to communicate with me are the ones I usually close after looking at their pictures and reading their profiles. Because no, I don't want to start dating a guy who is three or four times my size (and I am no waif), and no I don't want to date the 38 year old unemployed guy. I know this makes me shallow, or maybe I just know what I want (um, attraction, nothing wrong with that!), maybe I don't want to settle. Or maybe as my sister said, I am real and I am just looking for something real too.

A Fun Giveaway!!

Lacey Bean over at Perks of Being a Jap is having a great giveaway on her site. She has been blogging for two years and this is how she is celebrating the milestone! So go over an enter...and while you're there, read her blog, its super cute!!

Closed!

Just a short post to vent for a second. So I have been detailing my process of going through all of the eHarmony steps of communication. Well, today I signed on and one of the people that I had gotten all the way to the last step of communication with closed the match! Meaning he no longer wished to communicate with me. His reason? "Other"

Now, its one thing to have that as the reason if we have never communicated. At that point I know its just because of superficial reasons, I do the same thing. But to close the match for no reason after I have answered your multiple choice questions, sent you my list of things I want or don't want in a relationship, and then carefully answered your open ended questions to make sure that I was being honest and true to who I am while still being a little funny (thats true to me I think)...you close the match with "Other"?! So far eHarmony is turning out to be a big fat DUD!

Oh well, the big birthday is three days away and I plan on enjoying it, eHarmony, Match, speed dating, and all the rest be damned!

Following the Steps

This past weekend I went to see my family. We spent the weekend eating, drinking, eating, watching the horse races, eating, talking, eating, laughing, and did I mention eating?! Seriously, I had meals where I thought I would explode! But they were so worth it, I am a big food person (should I add that to my online profiles?).

Anyway, while away, my mother asked if there was any update on the whole online dating thing. I wish I had something to tell her. But alas, there is nothing really to report. Why, you ask? Well, because I am following the steps laid out by Dr. Warren's steps to communication. I mean after he so painstakingly matched me with this people based on 29 different levels of compatibility, shouldn't I follow his scientific approach? So I have sent questions, answered questions, read the lists and am just waiting to see where all these steps take me. Do I get to go on an actual date at some point or will the steps just take it out of us and we move onto another perfect match?!

No Chemistry?!

So I have been plugging away at this whole eHarmony thing and I have to say I can't say it is all that different from any other online dating site. I mean, you get your matches sent to you and you can review them before you decide if you want to move forward with communication. You can look at their various pictures (some guys posting pics dating back to 2006...not okay) and read what they have to say about themselves, their passions, and their goals. Seems pretty straightforward. Once you decide if you want to communicate you can send that person some introductory multiple choice questions and basically move forward from there.
Here is where it gets interesting...you can also decide that a person is not your match. Basically you've read what they had to say and looked at their photos and decided they are just not for you. Now, I won't lie, I have done that, just closed a match because I just didn't find them attractive (shallow much?). I usually just click that I want to close the match and list my reason as "other." I think people get the point without being cruel, you know? Well, today someone closed their match with me and listed the reason as "I don't feel that the chemistry is there." Yes, because clearly you can sense chemistry from three pictures and my answers to some inane questions. Just click "other" because dude, I wasn't attracted to you and your shortness, baldness, or cross eyes either!

Shallow LMG?

So, I have been back on match.com and signed up for eHarmony. I decided not to let this whole thing with "F" ruin "Operation 3.0" for me and I won't! What I forgot was how disheartening the whole online dating thing is. Let's start with match.com, since its old familiar really.

I will look through countless of profiles, most of which I have already seen, before I find one or two that I would want to e-mail. I won't lie, I haven't sent an e-mail yet. I have winked at a couple of people and I mentioned e-mailing to my accomplice. So hopefully we'll do that this weekend. {Accomplice: if you are reading this then hopefully that means your computer is fixed!!!}

Now, onto eHarmony the new and exciting form of matching based on all sorts of levels of compatibility. I sat through the eight million question survey, paid the overpriced fee and waited for matches to be sent my way. I have heard alot of people say that eHarmony doesn't match Jews, but I have to say, I have gotten quite a number of matches, and I rated religious compatibility as being very important. Now, there is a whole process to this also, you can't just decide to want to e-mail one of your matches. You have to go through three other steps before you reach 'open communication.' So I open my matches daily (some of whom live so far from NY, I wonder if eHarmony owns a map!) and take a look at what I have been offered. I have to say, its been an interesting process. There have not been that many people I really want to communicate with, even if eHarmony thinks we would be a great match! Out of the over thirty people that I ahve been matched with I have sent maybe ten of them the first round of communication questions and of course none of them have responded. I have been sent first round requests from some other matches and I have responded to two of them. But for the most part, I feel like I am so shallow because looks wise? Woah! Not anyone I would ever want to go out with. I am not saying I am a super model, far from it. But eHarmony is kidding itself it thinks that looks are not important at all. I think you do have to find the person you are with attractive. I am not saying my jaw has to fall on the floor because I am matched with some hottie. But I would like to open a profile, or a request for communication and not immideiatly think of "Revenge of the Nerds" and not in a funny way!

Summer Memories

Thanks to a my fellow blogger over at Saving the Best for Last for tagging me in this fun little game! I agree it does help with Blogger's Block, since I don't have much to blog about at the moment. So here goes:

Favorite Summer Movie: So I don't really have a favorite since I can watch movies over and over. But one that has been playing on TV alot recently is "Overboard" with Golie Hawn and Kurt Russel. I never get tired of that movie!

Favorite Summer Cocktail: So my accomplice had this drink at her bridal shower and we called them blushing brides, I think they have another name, I just can't think of it. Basically it is a cocktail made with ruby red vodka, orange juice, a splash of cranberry juice and a champagne floater. Delish! And if you have champagne taste on a beer budget (me) you can just put a splash of ginger ale, its really about the bubbles!

Favorite Summer Song: I don't think I have one, I am not the biggest music person. But I would have to say, just listening to a mix of 80's songs usually makes me happy. So I guess that would be it.

Favorite Summer Meal: I would have to say that I really do love a cookout. Something about a hamburger on the grill just makes me think of summer! Even better if there is some cole slaw, baked beans, corn, and a nice cold beer (Sam's Summer Ale of course!)

Favorite Summer Outfit: I too am not a fan of shorts, but I mean the short short ones. I am a fan of the new Bermudas that have become popular. I do like to wear dresses too in the summer, but I don't like to have my thighs touching, so its really a run off between the two items!

Favorite Summer Reading: Pink Books! You know those books that sit at the front of Barnes and Noble that all have pink covers or a girly picture (shoes) and are about a girl in London (usually) who loses her job and through some quirky maneuvering finds a new calling and meets the love of her life by the end! I know it is a bit embarrassing, but I love them and I can usually get through two or three each week when I have vacation time, so its a guilty summer pleasure!

Favorite Summer Moment(s): I know my accomplice will be shocked by this...but I actually love going out on the boat with her and to the beach. For some reason it really means that it is summer to me. Even though i hat being hot and turn into a lobster after 2.5 seconds, I always have fun! Thank goodness we found those cheap umbrellas at CVS! Of course I also love heading to Saratoga Springs for the races in the summer (although it's better in the fall when I have the house to myself!). Besides that, my favorite summer memories growing up would be going to visit my grandparents in the Cayman Islands (I know, weird that there seems to be a beach theme!). My Saba and Savta are really just such special people and getting to spend the summers with them was always a treat (not to mention tasty...Savta muffins yum!).

So, I guess that's that. I would love to hear some of your answers too, so let me know what your Summer Memories are! And enjoy the rest of your summer!

Ironic? Or just Funny?

So today I signed onto match.com just to see what was going on. I noticed I had a new "wink" from someone so I decided to check out his profile. There was nothing too exciting about it, not bad, not great. Just an average looking and all around average guy looking for a nice Jewish girl (hey, that's me!). So I kept on reading and the part that made me laugh out loud was as follows:
my pets: I have a cock-a-poo named "F", very cute, doesn't shed, best dog in the world!
Yes, that's right, this new potential match has a little pup with the same name as "F." Ironic? Or just plain funny? I thought it was a little funny myself and I might just e-mail this guy back. Who knows? Maybe "F" (the cock-a-poo) and I are meant to be!

LIG (as my mom says...Let It Go)

So, I have not heard from "F" and while there are so many things I never said to him, I can vent here and then move on....
For me, it just makes no sense for someone to be acting this way, especially someone who was self aware enough to say that he has done this in the past and doesn't want to repeat the same mistakes he has made....newsflash! you are repeating them, and karma is a bitch! And its frustrating for me personally (not his fault) that I opened myself to this being hurt...I know its part of relationships, and I know will probably be hurt again, it just sucks especially Because I told him that I am very careful and I told him that getting closer to him was scary, and the minute I did finally get there, that's when he decided to pull this shit...and its not fair although rationally I know fair has nothing to do with it. I am just venting and I have to say, it really feels great! I don't think I will get the chance to say these things to "F" it is just nice to have a place to share them.
But what really pisses me off most now, is that I still want him to call me, I would still go out with him, because I know (deep down) that this really has nothing to do with me, and he is clearly going through something...something I can't help with, and clearly I can't be a part of. I hope that whatever "F" is going through with his job and with his family works itself out. And I hope that he gets a better coping mechanism to deal with rough situations that can and will come up in the future.
Some people have mentioned I should try again with him, but I just don't know what to say at this point. I don't know how to make it more clear to him that I do care about him and I want to be there for him. So I think I just have to let it go and move forward on my own. Should he realize his mistake (yeah, seriously "F" big mistake!) then I can decide how to move forward from there, but now is a different issue.
So Little Match Girl is trying to move on. I have two friends who recently signed up for eHarmony, so I am willing to give that shot. And I still have my match.com membership for another month or two. I just don't want to crawl into a hole and cry about this. Am I sad about it? Yes. But I know that this is a part of relationships, and perhaps this one was not meant to be. There is someone out there for me, I think I am pretty awesome, so now I just have to find that person who thinks the same! :-)

Operation 3.0 is back...?

So, I realized that one month from today "Operation 3.0" will officially become "Operation 3.1" when I will celebrate my birthday. I also realized today that "F" is going through whatever he is going through and I need to move on. We spoke for a bit last night when he called to return my message. It was fine, although a bit of an awkward conversation. It is clear to me that he is unhappy with his job and is letting that permeate the other parts of his life. Well, that can be his choice, but I will now allow that to be mine. If "F" wants to see me again, he'll have to call and ask me out on a date. It will have to be starting from scratch. In the meantime, I am going back to match.com while I have my free months and will be looking for new potential dates. I know it may seem sudden or callous, but I don't feel the need to wallow in something that it seems really has nothing to do with me and I am willing to see what happens. But until he can get it together (or if he can get it together) "Operation 3.0" will be moving forward...