Open Shut Them

So, I had a few matches open from the matchmaking website (E and J to be specific). Last time I blogged about them I was making plans with both of them, so here is the update on that.

Let's start with J. He works near my office building so I called him and asked if he wanted to meet for coffee or lunch one day last week. I never got a call back, but rather an e-mail on the website. I found that a bit odd, but responded in kind and we agreed to meet on Wed afternoon for coffee. I got to the Starbucks he had decided on and he was waiting there ready to tell me there was no seating and we should move. Now it wasn't that all the tables were taken, it was that this Starbucks had virtually no seating save for a few stools at the front. I found it odd that he would have picked that place, but whatever, we moved on to another Starbucks (this is NYC after all, they are everywhere!). Once we had ordered and sat down we got to the regular get to know you chit chat and I just knew this was going nowhere fast. He asked what I did for a living and just couldn't let go of that subject. What I do for work is my job, it is not who I am and there are so many other things about me that are interesting. I began to feel like this date was more like a job, it became tedious and I finally decided to call it a day and said I had to get back to my office. Now, since you all know how much I hate my job you'll understand that this must have been bad if I was looking forward to getting back to my desk! Anyway, the match with J is now closed. He is a nice guy just not the guy for me.

My date with E was scheduled for Thursday evening. Ever since we had spoken on the phone I had an uneasy feeling about meeting him and when he suggested his date idea the feeling did not go away. He suggested we meet over at Chelsea Piers at 8:30 to just go for a walk along the Hudson. Okay, I am not an outdoors kind of gal. I love to take Poppy for walks in the morning, but for a date? I just don't know, maybe during the day in one of the parks where there is always something going on. But at night? I just felt uneasy about it. I cancelled the date and I don't know if I will reschedule. The match is still open, but I think I may shut it.

M and I saw each other again this weekend after our scheduling conflicts of last weekend. He was actually traveling all during the week and asked if we could just do something casual which I was fine with (casual was still going out to a place with food and drinks, not a walk on a pier at night). He said just to wear my most worn in jeans and pick a place because he was fine going anywhere low key. During the day he texted me while he was still at work to let me know he was going to be late and that work was just awful. When he finally got to me he was so apologetic, but I was fine with it because he had already let me know the circumstances. We walked hand in hand to a bar not too far from my place and ordered food and beer. He said it could not have been more perfect. He ate and drank and just had a great time. WE told each other about our weeks and he asked a bit about Miami. I didn't let him know it was with the possibility of moving, but I wonder if he has an idea that it might come to that. After dinner (mmm frickles) we walked a bit and got a cab home to my place. After taking Poppy for a walk we watched a bit of tv and played with the dog. I would be lying if I didn't own up to the whole kissy face part of the night. We were making out for a while when I asked if he was leaving or spending the night. He said it was up to me as he wanted to stay but didn't want to be presumptuous. I told him to stay and we went to sleep together (after lots more kissy face). In the morning I had to take Poppy for a walk with my dog walking friends (it is a weekend ritual). M stayed in bed because I asked him to and when I got back we went back to sleep. After waking up again with more making out, my friend called because she had to drop off some stuff at my place. I wasn't planning on a whole meet the friends thing, but it just sort of happened. She came and they met and after she left I promptly got a text from her letting me know M is cute! Well, he stayed a bit long, it was like we were both not wanting for him to leave, but when he did there was once again the knowing that we'll be seeing each other soon, but not making any definitive plans. I think we can safely say this match is definitely still open!

Positive Thinking

I usually read my horoscope everyday. It is just one of the things I do at work to procrastinate really and I don't put that much stock into it. However, when I looked at today's I couldn't help but hope! As you know I am waiting to hear about a possible opportunity in Miami. It is something that I have wanted for a very long time and I feel like the time is now for me! So here is the horoscope:

Virgo
If you've been wondering whether or not you did the right thing recently, stop it. You're about to get an unsubtle hint letting you know that you're not just headed in the right direction, but also aimed directly at bringing an old, beloved dream to life. Pay closer attention to where you are now -- and remember that you're just a few steps away from where you've always wanted to be.

M is for....

MIAMI!!!

I had a great trip. I met with the head of an organization that I want to work for (and have wanted to work for since I was a teenager). He seemed very optimistic and told me that they are so early in the process there are no other candidates and that he wants to advocate for me! So needless to say, I am very excited about this opportunity. But I am not putting the cart before the horse. I still got to work at 9 AM (about 30-45 minutes before almost everyone else!). I am still doing the work that my job right now asks of me and am not slacking off. They would like to have someone in the position by January and I am really hoping that someone is me! Besides this being professionally just an amazing opportunity, this program is something that was very close to my grandfather's heart and getting the opportunity to be a part of it would make him so very proud.

M is also for....well, M. He and I tried to make plans this past weekend for when I got back but just couldn't figure out our schedules. He is traveling again for work this week but said he will touch base to set something up. We shall see. I did not tell him why I was going to Miami, I just said it was a work thing. I just want to enjoy dating him (and other people too) while I am here. If something is meant to be it will be (thanks Mom!) and I am not going to force it nor am I going to squash it by telling him I may be leaving.

M is also for...More Dates! I talked to E last week and we are going to set something up for this week. I'll be giving him a call tonight. Saturday I spoke to J from the matchmaking site. He seemed like a nice guy although I was a bit bored on the phone. He wanted to meet for lunch since our offices are so close to each other. I'll probably give him a call tonight to set that up as well. So, who knows? This may just be the "Operation's" busiest week ever!

Just a Few Things...

Once again, no big theme to today's post, so here are the higlights of what is going on with Little Match Girl!

• Head on over to Nola Girl's blog! She is doing such an amazing giveaway, I won't lie, I really want to win!! I am a sucker for vintage jewelry and the piece she is giving away is awesome.
• I am leaving tomorrow for Miami and I will litterally be there for twenty three hours. I am going for an informal interview for a position I have wanted for years!! The person who had it has left and I found out about it before they even publicized the position being open. I am hoping I can make this happen before anyone else throws their hat in the ring!
• Thinking about moving back to Miami (if I do get this job) freaks me out!! I grew up there so of course I will be near family, but I have no social life there. No friends, I don't know anyone and the thought of that, of starting all over again, is scary.
• After a few weeks of working with my matchmaker on that other site I was really frustrated! But in the last few days have recieved two new matches. I spoke to one guy, E, last night. He seemed all right, but wasn't really into talking on the phone and immediately asked if I would like to get together. As per the rules of the "operation" I said yes. He said we could touch base when I get back from FL and do something next week.
• I have not heard from M, other than a quick text over the weekend about Poppy. I don't really know what to make of that. I am not the kind of girl who needs to talk to you every single day and all of that, but I would like to know that he wants to see me again and maybe we can make some plans. I guess now is when I am starting to second guess everything....help!!
• Poppy is feeling better and things seem to be getting back to normal. She is playing with her friends and we went to the park this morning so she could run around a bit. It makes me feel a bit better about leaving her for the day. Although she will be with a friend of mine that she knows, so hopefully she'll be fine.
• I booked my hotel yesterday for my friend Crusher's wedding in CT. I am so excited to see her as a bride (although I do wonder if she will wear sneakers with her gown). It is going to be such a fun time and I can't wait to be with some of my greatest friends (you know who you are).

Girly Girl

Hello, my name is Little Match Girl and I am a Girly Girl. It took me about thirty years to reach this point and I have to say I am none too pleased about it! I was never like this. I mean don't get me wrong I am not and never was a tomboy, but I wasn't all emotional and gooey and things like that. I guess you could say I was a bitch.
All that has changed in the last year or so. I find myself being more emotional about things that never would have effected me before. For example, I have cried at Hallmark commercials lately. Who does that?! I'll tell you who, me! This is a side of myself I never saw and never expected. When my best friend (and accomplice) got married, I was a sappy mess! So much so that all of my friends even commented on it. I find I begin crying if a book really touches me (One Day anyone? if you haven't you MUST read it). And it isn't just the whole emotional side, it's other things too. In this whole "operation" I have always just had fun and let things happen. And I am still doing that, but with M...I find myself lunging for the phone if it rings, hoping it is him. I read the text messages he sent me over again. I mean, this was NEVER my MO. Who is this girly girl I have become?

What a Night!

So M and I went out again Friday night and it was such a great night! We met at my place and then headed down to Dos Caminos on Park Ave for dinner. M picked the place and I was totally fine with that, I had picked the places the last times we went out so I was happy to let him take charge of that. We took a cab downtown and just talked the whole way and continued to talk all through dinner (which was so good). After dinner we decided to walk a bit since it was such a beautiful night. We wound up walking all the way up to Rockefeller Center where we just stood by the fountain as tourists all around us took pictures. But I honestly didn't even notice them, it was like there really wasn't anyone else around (as cliche as that sounds). All we did was talk and then he kissed me and then we talked some more. Finally we decided to walk to the train and head back uptown.
When we got back to my place we immediately took Poppy for a walk. She was so happy to see M, she was wagging her tail and following him the whole time. It was actually really cute. We got back to my place and in the words of my mom, we played "Kissy Face." Yes, that's right, those are the words used by mom of Little Match Girl, and I love it! We were on the couch for a bit, but it is kind of small (really just a loveseat) so we moved onto the bed. There was just kissing and no cookie was given away! But before I knew it we were asleep (I didn't expect an overnight and neither did he) and the reason I woke up was not a good one.
Poppy got sick all over the kitchen floor. I heard her moving around and went to investigate only to find her standing in the corner looking at me and her mess with sad eyes. I felt so badly for her, I quickly cleaned everything up and M was so great about it. He just kept an eye on Poppy making sure she didn't get in my way and that she was all right. I put her down on a chair to rest and then we went back to sleep. I was expecting him to bolt after that, I mean I wouldn't blame the guy, it wasn't a pretty picture. Instead he stayed, put his arm around me and we fell asleep again. Usually when I am sleeping with someone (and I mean sleeping) there may be a little cuddle and then I turn away and it becomes, "this is my side of the bed, that's yours." Because I am a restless sleep and usually it takes me a while to fall asleep and be comfortable. That wasn't the case, we fell asleep wrapped up together (I can't think of a good way to put it) and woke up that way. I will be honest and say that has never happened!
Anyway, I am sad to say that when we woke up in the morning I saw that Poppy had gotten sick again twice in the middle of the night. Not a pleasant way to say good morning, but once again, M was so great about it, making sure Poppy was okay and just reassuring me that she would be all right. Once we were up, M had to leave as he had an early morning planned with his dad. We said goodbye after he jokingly asked me to walk him out (I live in a studio, not far to go) and once again while there was no plan made, the intention of seeing each other again was very clear.
So, I guess things are going well with M. We will just have to see. And as for Poppy, we went to the vet, he said she should be fine, I just have to monitor and give her some medicine. So, it is a waiting game all around! Good times!

Randoms

I didn't have anything in particular to share today, so I just thought I would put together a list of random things.

• I got to work at 9:01 this morning and it took all my strength not to put a note on my boss's desk saying "LMG 9:01, Good Morning"
• I went to use the restroom at work today and was greeted by perhaps the biggest roach I have ever seen! And I am from Miami, we have roaches! It was huge, so I screamed and ran out and then used the men's room cause yes, I am a wuss. (I will also be adding this to the reasons I hate my job)
• Some of my fellow bloggers have mentioned the passing of Bumpkin. I didn't know her or read her blog, but this is a community and a loss is felt throughout. I am sure she is feeling the outpouring of love from so many.
• I feel like an awful friend because I can't go to my accomplice's birthday party tomorrow night. She lives in Boston and it is just a logistical kerfuffle. Hopefully we will be able to have a do-over!
• My littlest sister is moving to Milan to study abroad at the end of the month, she gets on my nerves more than I can say, but I am going to miss her and can't wait to hear all about her adventures!
• I have not heard from M and I am not really sweating it. I'll still be e-mailing other people on Jdate and they are having a happy hour in a few weeks I am going to go to.
• Not hearing from M makes me wonder if the fact that I told people how great everything was (people like my mom, my sisters, friends) and it was only two dates put a jinx on the whole thing. Yes, I'll admit I can be a little superstitious (some may say crazy).

Okay, I think that pretty much covers my thoughts for the day (well, as far into the day as I am at the moment).

FUMING!

Okay, so this blog is not about my usual topic but about my job. Let me just say that I love the field I work in, I spent two years in graduate school to do this type of work and when I actually get the chance I love it. However, I am stuck in a place where my work isn't really appreciated, where other people get credit for my ideas, and where we are all held to different standards. It is not a positive work environment and I am doing everything within my power to find a new job. But today? Today I am fuming, and here is why.

I was late, I am usually not late to work. But with the heat index being close to one hundred degrees I had to make sure that Poppy was well situated and taken care of before I could get on the steamy subway. When I walked into work today and went to my desk there was a note from my boss just saying "Good Morning 9:45" (I walked in at 9:49). Now, I was not the only person to walk in late, and most of the time I am one of the first people in the office. But did every other person who walked in late have that lovely note on their desks? Nope! And that is just one example of the kind of stuff I have to put up with on a daily basis. Everyday I feel worse and worse about working here and I am trying so hard to get out. The field that I am in is small and I have put feelers out to everyone I know. So hopefully I will find something sooner rather than later because honestly, I don't know how much more I can take!

I keep thinking of the words to the Lily Allen song 22: "She's got an all right job, it's not a career/whenever she thinks about it, it brings her to tears."

That I think pretty much sums it up! I am going to remain positive though and just know that there are better things to come and I will continue to work hard to make it happen!

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In other news that you really want to know....M sent me a message on Saturday morning after the date saying he had a great time and we would talk soon. He is out of town this week for work, but has sent me a few little messages relating to baseball (since we cheer for bitter rivaling teams). I know that I don't want to be stuck in a text zone, so I am not prolonging these into conversations. I guess I will just have to see what happens when he gets back!

Let's Talk Dirty...

Martinis that is.

M and I had talked about our mutual love of a great dirty martini so we decided to venture out last night and look for a good one. We actually just wound up at only two different places since our second place happened to make an excellent one (vodka for me, gin for him). After a couple of drinks and some yummy food, before we knew it four hours had gone by! Just like last time, we talked and talked about so many different things and time just seemed to fly by. It was just so easy and nice (even though that word does little to describe it). I was talking to my accomplice before I left and she asked if I was nervous, and what is funny about it is that I really wasn't. Not before he came, not the whole time we were together. Like I said, it just comes so easily to be with him.

Anyway, onto the stuff I know you really want to know. During dinner M leaned towards me said "come here" and kissed me. And it was wonderful (which is funny because I am so not one for PDA). It wasn't raunchy and we were not like some people who I see where all I can think is, get a room! It was sweet and soft and just lovely. I will say everything got a little more intense later in the evening. We walked back to my place, took Poppy for a walk and then he came up to my little studio. Whats funny is that even though we spent most of the time making out we still talked some more and before we knew it, it was 1:00 in the morning and M had to go.

So, I do think it all feel promising. M mentioned that he will be out of town for most of the coming week and we both said we want to see each other again. However, once again there were no plans made. So I guess we will just have wait and see....

Awash

Not only is that the name of the (mediocre) restaurant from last night but it is also the way I felt about last night's date. We decided to meet at 7 and within the first few minutes I knew this was not a match and I couldn't wait to go home. The only word I can use to describe my date with J is: awkward. It was like he didn't really know how to make conversation and I had to steer the whole thing. I was really trying to be open and excited about this date, but I just couldn't. I know this isn't someone for me (I mean, a vegetarian would not fit in my steak loving family!). At the end of dinner he asked if I wanted to go grab a drink somewhere and I politely declined. Does this mean he thinks the date went well? I guess that answers my question from yesterday's post (one person can have a totally different date experience than the other).

Speaking of yesterday's post, after my rant and venting I got a message from M when I walked in the door. He apologized for not being in contact (granted it was only 24 hours and I may have been bordering the line to Crazy Town) and asked if I would like to get together this weekend. So now we have a date set up for Friday night, one I am actually looking forward to!

A Thought....

So I heard from M over text a few times during the week and while there was talk of getting together again, when I asked what his schedule looked like I never heard back. Now, it is fine if I don't see him again. It was only one date and I am not in love or anything like that. It is just that I hate the whole "I'm going to disappear now" thing. That is was what happened with F last summer and its happened to me before with another guy I was seeing when I first moved to NYC. We had seen each other for a while and I was going out of town for a holiday. He told em to call when I got back and when I did I never heard from him again.

What is that about? If you don't want to see me again (especially if we have a relationship) have the guts to say so. As for M and the one date thing, is it possible I was the only one who had such a great time? I don't really think so (I was talking to someone today who said it just can't be the one person on a date has a great time and the other doesn't). It is so rare (for me you know it is true!!) to have a first date go well enough that I really want to see the person again! So yes, I am a little disappointed in the whole thing. Especially given his prompting of going out again. Just another thing I can say I don't understand about dating, about men, about this whole thing!

I am trying to remain positive about the whole "operation" (OMG, a little over a month till I am 31 and it's "operation 3.2" here we come!). I have a date tonight with J which hopefully will be fun as we are having Ethiopian food (ie: no utensils)! I have not been active in e-mailing new people of Jdate and the whole matchmaker thing looks like a bust (I don't think I have gotten a new match in a week!). But I know there is something good coming for me (maybe not with this, but something!!).